The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
General
The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"
Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Fiction; Satire
My father strode in, to fetch his gun, which he kept well-charged in the
clock-case now, for the sake of so many Professors; and _Grip_, for a
surety, would have been dead, and boiling, in less than five minutes,
except for his luck. His luck was that I, being under debate between my
two parents, had slipped out of doors, being old enough now by
experience to know, that they took the kindest view of me, when I was
out of sight. And coming round the corner, to peep in at the window,
just to see whether they had settled my concerns, there I saw this poor
dog--hideous they might call him--doubtfully glancing in every
direction, dimly aware that the world was against him, scenting the
death of a dog in the air. One of his eyes was out of sight, and one of
his ears was in need of a sling, his tail (which had lately been cracked
by his father) hung limp in the dust with a pitiable wag, and every hair
on his body was turned the wrong way. His self-respect had suffered a
tremendous blow, by the effort of mankind to hang him yesterday, and by
dragging at the tail of a cart to-day; and as sure as dogs are dogs, he
was aware of the awful decision against him.
Gristles was a hard man, and would not say a word, to comfort or to
plead for him, having got a little snap from him, a month or two ago; so
he looked down over the back of the cart, and whistled--"Pop goes the
Weasel"--while the poor dog implored him, with all his one eye full of
wistful enquiry, what harm he had done.
"All right, guv'nor," shouted Gristles, as my father came forthwith his
big double-barrel; "my mare will stand fire like a church. But mind you,
it ain't no good to shoot at his head, with nothing no smaller than a
dockyard cannon. Have at his heart, where you sees him now a-panting;
but for God's sake, guv'nor, don't shoot me."
That fellow's cowardly cruelty made my father relent, for his heart was
kind; and before he could put up his gun again, I was lying upon _Grip_,
and hugging him. The unfortunate dog, for his last resource, had
appealed to the only weak face he could find, and my own fright enabled
me to enter into his.
"You little fool, Tommy, get out of the way," my father shouted; but I
would not budge, and _Grip_ put his quivering tongue out, and licked my
cheek, and besought me with a little speech of whine.
"Very well," said my father, being glad of an excuse for a milder
course, as his wrath went down, and knowing that, if he did this thing,
Mr. Chumps would never look at him again, which would cost him as much
as £20 a year; "very well, Tommy, if you like the brute you shall have
him, and I hope he will be grateful to you. Gristles, here's
half-a-crown for you, and you need not tell your master what I
said--only that I seemed a little disappointed with the first appearance
of the dog; which is rather a good fault, you know, in a dog who has got
to keep off strangers; and my compliments, and I begin to feel sure that
_Grip_ will soon begin to grow upon us."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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