The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore" — John Shaqi
The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
General
The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"
Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Fiction; Satire
"My boy," said the Professor, looking gravely at me, and seeming to wink
with one large clear eye, though it was not a wink, but rather the
effect of a most sagacious and delightful nod; "I have long anticipated
that result. It is always agreeable to find one's prognosis confirmed by
events, though they often fail to do it. No one has found out the secret
of this box, though very clever men have striven at it, and among them
three noted puzzle-makers. Perfect simplicity is deeper than any depth
of complexity. Tommy, behold, and with good will devour. Ha, a
practical, rather than a theoretic mind!"
Perhaps he made that observation because, without stopping to ask how
the box came open, I fell to at once upon its choice contents. The
flavour was altogether new to me, and wonderfully fine and penetrating,
leaving no part of the mouth in idleness, and warming the entire length
of throat with hope. At the same time, these goodies had just enough
about them of roughness, to compel the tongue to stop, and invite it to
dwell upon their surface gently, equably, earnestly, and with much
delight refraining from speech, while thus better employed.
"Ah!" said the Professor, and one "ah" of his contained all the fulness
of three volumes; "Tommy, be just, and consider them fairly. They are
made from my own design, and stamped with cuneiform--ah, I see it now!
The young mind is plagued so with ancient tongues, that the young tongue
rejoices in demolishing their symbols. By taking a patent for this
design, I might get on better than by building dragons. But let us
return to our point, my good Tommy."
As he spoke, he was setting against one another the tips of his long
middle fingers, which I took for the point to be returned to, and said,
"Yes, sir, if you please, sir."
"My young friend, I take it that the point, from which we have allowed
our minds to be pleasantly diverted, is whether you will allow me just
to give you a lift in the air--a very gentle lift; not for any
scientific view whatever, but only for a little satisfaction to myself.
If from old experience of professors, you have any misgiving, say so,
Tommy, and I will not touch you."
"Oh, sir," said I, with my mouth running over; "don't be afraid, sir, to
lift me where you like."
At this good encouragement. Professor Megalow nodded, as if in pleasant
commune with himself; and then with one hand softly tossed me to his
shoulder, where I sate very nicely, as on a spring-cushion, rather than
a feather-bed, however. Then he handed me up the box, which I put
between my knees, and began to sing, according to my habit, when
contented with the world.
"Ah," said the Professor, as he walked about (having, now and then, a
little whistle to himself), and took me to look at a map of mountains
(placed at a mountainous height above my usual level of intelligence),
"Tommy, this is very good; this is quite delightful. Do you know, why
this is so delightful, little Tommy?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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