The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
General
The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"
Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Fiction; Satire
This was the first time I ever beheld him in evening dress, and he
astonished me; because a very old hat had always been part of his
equipment. He may have contrived to leave it somewhere, for he cannot
have come with a good one. Neither was that the only thing in his
present appearance amazing; for he had put himself into a black velvet
coat, as the smartest thing he could find in his trunk; and grand, I can
tell you, he looked in it. From daybreak until he had to go and wash, he
had been at work at that great whale, not only directing a mob of
clod-hoppers, how to hop about upon a whale, but also, with his own iron
arms, performing all work that called for skill and strength. And yet,
there was no sign of work about him; neither any talk, or thought of
work; and he would not be made (though Lady Twentifold tried her best to
make him, and so did Sir Roland with downright "fishers"--as we used to
call tapping a master at school, to do a hard sentence for us), by no
manner of means could he be brought to speak, as if he wanted to be
listened to.
This was the very thing that I had known, ever since he first came,
with the other four Professors. Of them there was not one that would
leave off talking, for the sake of the public, or of one another, or
even for his own sake; neither would they breathe enough, to let another
voice in; but the measure of every man's mind was his lungs. And to
countervail this, it has been laid down by nature, that the men who have
something to say don't say it.
But, though this Professor, in his leisure time, would play round the
edge of his learning, rather than plunge other people into it; it was
quite impossible for even me (a careless, and light-headed boy) to be
with him, without learning something. And my firm belief is, that
although I know very little, at this time of writing, whatever I have
learned of larger things than little human creatures, was gained upon
that whale, where the great mind came to study the great body.
CHAPTER XIII.
WHALEBONES.
My dear mother always says, and allows no contradiction about it, that
this whale, being all bones and blubber, had no right whatever to come
ashore there, and to set me against my father's trade. She declares that
all science is full of smells, a thousand times worse than we make; and
that all their fuss about drains is just, that they may get themselves
cleaned up, for nothing. All the people before her, in generation, lived
to be ninety, without any drain upon them; except her own parents, and
why did they die? Why, because there was a drain carried through their
garden; and the smell came in, and choked them!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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