The Reminiscences of an Irish Land AgentHussey, Samuel Murray
History
The Reminiscences of an Irish Land Agent
Hussey, Samuel Murray
Country life -- Ireland; Hussey, Samuel Murray, 1824-; Ireland -- History -- 1837-1901
'I hope there was not much in it.'
'No, it was a nice little purse I had had for a long time, but thanks to
your husband there was nothing in it.'
An Irish story of Magee's concerns an Orange clergyman in Fermanagh, who
asked leave to preach a sermon by Magee. Now, this clergyman, who was an
ambitious man, was rather ashamed of his mother, and would not let her
live at the parsonage, but had taken lodgings for her in the town.
Magee, moreover, always a moderate man, did not like Orange sermons, and
most certainly had never composed one. As he good naturedly did not want
to offend the other, he said he would give him a capital sermon to
deliver if he--Magee--might select the text.
'Of course, of course,' assented the other; 'what is it?'
'"From that time His disciple took her to his own house."'
Even this was hardly so cutting as his remark, when a bishop, to a
clergyman of whom he did not think highly, but who upbraided him for not
giving him a living.
'Sir, if it were raining livings, the utmost I could do would be to lend
you an umbrella.'
Mention of Magee suggests an ecclesiastical tale concerning a most
convivial attorney--George Faith by name--who had rather a red nose,
which he explained was caused by wearing tight boots.
His father in old age got married a second time, and George was asked
why his stepmother was like Dr. Newman.
The answer was because she had embraced the ancient Faith.
Among old time Irish members, Joe Ronayne, M.P. for Cork, was among the
most diverting.
He was a railway contractor, and much wanted some additional ground at
the terminus of the line, which the proprietor, Lord Ventry, would not
sell.
The size of the coveted patch was only seven feet long by three broad.
Mr. Ronayne grimly retorted:--
'That's very strange, for it is exactly the amount of ground I'd like to
give him,' i.e. for his grave.
Another experience of Ronayne's was to the following tune.
He had obtained advances from a local bank for his railway contract to
the satisfaction of both parties, and when asked by the manager for some
wrinkles about the making of a railway, replied:--
'The best thing is to run it into a soft bank.'
He was a plucky chap as well as a witty one, for owing to some internal
malady, from which he died, he had to have his leg amputated, at the
same time resigning his seat for Cork.
Addressing the surgeon, he observed:--
'I cannot stand for the borough any longer, but I shall certainly stump
the constituency as a county candidate.'
Poor fellow, he was all too soon an accepted candidate for his passage
over to the great majority.
A certain attorney named Nagle used to do most of his work.
Speaking of another attorney this Nagle remarked:--
'He has the heart of a vulture.'
'I know what's worse,' was Ronayne's comment.
'Indeed!'
'Yes; the bill of an aigle' (which is the broad Cork pronunciation of
eagle).
This Nagle was not remarkable for the extent of his ablutions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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