While the bulk of the officers are Irish gentlemen, educated in Ireland, Englishmen are also to be found among them. Officers enter by nomination after passing an examination designed to show that they are not 'crammed,' but the perversity of the examiners has always thwarted this excellent intention. That is like the admirable purpose of Cabinet Ministers, bent on reforming their different departments, but dexterously 'blocked' by the permanent officials. Before the reduction commenced by Mr. Wyndham, the Constabulary numbered 10,679, and cost L1,390,917. In my opinion it will be found necessary in the future, not only to keep the force up to its full strength, but to materially increase its number so soon as the Government becomes the sole landlord in Ireland, especially now that they are going to have Volunteers in the country. The existence of this force merely means that landlords will be shot at half price; so, for the sake of their own skins, the latter had better get clear of the country before the recruits have had much musketry instruction. The badness of the shooting saved many a landlord in the eighties, and if that is remedied, why they will be popped as easily as my grandson knocks over rabbits. There is a story of an English tourist seeking for information about the distressful country, he being at Tallaght near Dublin. He asked his carman whether there were many Fenians about. 'A terrible lot, your honour,' replied the fellow. 'I suppose a thousand?' the tourist suggested, somewhat apprehensively. 'That is so, and twenty thousand more,' answered the carman without hesitation. 'Are they armed?' was the next question. 'They are that, and finely into the bargain.' 'And are they prepared to come out?' the tourist being much perturbed, and thinking it would be his duty to write to the _Times_. 'Prepared to come out in the morning, your honour.' 'And why don't they do so?' with English common sense. 'Begorra, because maybe if they did, the constabulary would put them in jail.' So the constabulary have some value after all, in spite of the sneers of Home Rule members in the House of Commons. Half a dozen Kerry priests screeched with laughter when I told them that story in the train, having met them on a journey to Farranfore. Here is another I also gave them on that occasion. A couple of policemen were discussing the state of Ireland once upon a time. Says Dan to Mick:-- 'Sure we'll niver get peace and quiet in the blessed country until we fetch Oliver Cromwell up from hell to settle the unruly.' Replies Mick to Dan:-- 'Have done, you fool, isn't he a deal quieter where he is?' Judge Keagh thought worse of his fellow countrymen than do other men with less than his great experience, and although a Roman Catholic, he had to be escorted by two constables wherever he went. He was told that he ought to be guarded by four policemen, because the two might be attacked.