But he knew the man that said it wanted to make the protection more conspicuous, so he replied:-- 'Sir, I have the most implicit confidence in the invincible cowardice of my fellow countrymen.' That recalls an observation of my own. On one occasion, a telegram was sent from the Chief Inspector of Constabulary in Kerry to the Scotland Yard authorities to say there was to be an attempt to murder me in London, and in consequence a gentleman from the department for providing traffic directors in metropolitan streets called at my house in Elvaston Place, to inquire what police protection I wanted. 'None,' said I, 'for if a man shoots me in London he'll be hung, and every Irish scoundrel is careful of his own neck. It's altogether another matter in Ireland, where Mr. Gladstone has carefully provided that he shall be tried by a jury, the majority of which are certain to be land leaguers.' I brought out the same idea on a more important occasion. Once, in Mr. Froude's house, Professor Max Mueller--who was a great admirer of Mr. Gladstone--remarked that after all I had not much reason to complain, because I had had plenty of police protection in Ireland. 'I should prefer equal laws,' said I. 'What inequality of law have you to find fault with?' he asked. 'Well,' I replied, 'if a land leaguer shoots me in Ireland, he will be tried by a jury of land leaguers. If I shoot one of them, I would require that I be tried by a jury of landlords, and if that be granted I'll clear the road for myself of all suspicious characters, and ask for no more police protection than you require at Oxford.' He subsided at that, and Froude laughed at him so heartily, that he had not another word to say on the subject all day. Did you ever hear the rhyme about moonlighting? It runs as follows:-- 'The difference betwixt moonlight and moonshine The people at last understand, For moonlight's the law of the League And moonshine is the law of the land.' That would have clinched my argument beyond all dispute, but the expressive poem was not written at that time. Reverting to the topics of this chapter, it is needless to observe that there is a bond of connection between constabulary and dispensary doctors, for the latter are needed on many occasions to attend to the wounds of those just arrested. The dispensary doctors do not form a satisfactory feature of Irish life, simply because the farmers elect individuals out of friendship. A dispensary doctor had to be appointed at Farranfore, and I was most anxious to get the best man for the position. So I proposed that the candidates' papers should all be submitted to Sir Dominic Corragun, a Roman Catholic physician of high standing in Dublin. I could not even get a seconder to my motion, which therefore fell stillborn, and I wrote to Lord Kenmare that if Gull or Jenner had been suggested, neither of them would have obtained three votes.