"Is it?" Julia paused again. "I don't know whether you realize it,
but you and I are the only women Mr. Caldecott ever goes to see. I
dare say you were surprised when he told you about me. I was amazed
when he told me about you. I've no doubt he made each of us think we
were the one exception. You see, we are rather exceptional women,
from his unhappy point of view. He knows that I understand him, and
I'm sure he thinks that he understands you----"
"So he feels safe with me?"
"Gloriously safe. _You_ are a genius, above all the little feminine
stupidities that terrify him so. From you he expects nothing but the
unexpected. You're outside all his rules. I'm so much inside them
that he knows exactly what to expect. So he's safe with both of us.
It's the betwixt-and-between people that he dreads."
Julia rose up from the depths rosy and refreshed. Freda panted with
a horrible exhaustion.
"I see," she said. And presently she found that it was time for her
to go.
III
The cool, bright air out of doors touched her like a reminding hand.
She turned awkwardly into the street that led from Bedford Square to
her own place. Wilton Caldecott and she had often walked along that
street together. She felt like one called upon to play a new part on
a familiar stage, where every object suggested insanely,
irrelevantly, the older inspiration.
Not that her conversation with Julia, or, rather (she corrected
herself) Julia's conversation with her, had altered anything. It had
all been so natural, so unamazing, like a conversation between two
persons in a dream. They had both seemed so ripe for their hour
that, when it struck, it brought no sense of the unusual. Only when
she lit her lamp in her room, and received the full shock of the old
intimate reality, did it occur to her that it was, after all, for
Julia Nethersole, a rather singular outpouring. The more she thought
of it the more startling it seemed--Julia's flinging off of the
reticence that had wrapped her round. Freda was specially appalled
by the audacity with which Julia had dragged Wilton Caldecott's
history into the light of day. Her own mind had always approached it
shyly and tenderly, with a sort of feeling that, after all, perhaps
she would rather not know. To Freda Julia seemed to have taken leave
suddenly of her senses, to have abandoned all propriety. One did, at
supreme moments, leave many things behind one; but Freda was not
aware that any moment in their intercourse had yet counted as
supreme.
Could Julia have meant anything by it? If so, what was it that she
precisely meant? The beginning of their conversation provided no
clue to its end. What possible connection could there be between
her, Freda's gift, such as it was, and Wilton Caldecott's marriage?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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