Angels -- Fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English; French wit and humor -- Translations into English
"What say you, Arcade? The Abbé Patouille, who is a great theologian and
a good priest, does not believe that you are an angel; and Uncle Gaétan,
who doesn't know his catechism and hasn't a scrap of religion in him,
doesn't think so either. They deny you, the pair of them; the one
because he has faith, the other because he hasn't. After that you may be
sure that your history, if ever it comes to be narrated, will scarcely
appear credible. Moreover, the man that took it into his head to tell
your story would not be a man of taste, and would not come in for much
approval. For your story is not a pretty one. I love you, but I sit in
judgment upon you, too. Since you fell into atheism, you have become an
abominable scoundrel. A bad angel, a bad friend, a traitor, and a
homicide, for I suppose it was to bring about my death that you sent
that black spaniel between my legs on the duelling-ground."
The angel shrugged his shoulders and, addressing Gaétan, said:
"Alas! Monsieur, I am not surprised at finding little credit in your
eyes. I have been told that you have fallen out with the Judæo-Christian
heaven, which is where I came from."
"Monsieur," answered Gaétan, "my faith in Jehovah is not sufficiently
strong to enable me to believe in his angels."
"Monsieur, he whom you call Jehovah is really a coarse and ignorant
demiurge, and his name is Ialdabaoth."
"In that case, Monsieur, I am perfectly ready to believe in him. He is a
narrow-minded ignoramus, is he? Then belief in his existence offers me
no further difficulty. How is he getting on?"
"Badly! We are going to lay him low next month."
"Don't make too sure of that, Monsieur. You remind me of my
brother-in-law, Cuissart, who has been expecting to hear of the fall of
the Republic for the past thirty years."
"You see, Arcade," exclaimed Maurice, "Uncle Gaétan thinks as I do. He
knows you won't succeed."
"And, pray, Monsieur Gaétan, what makes you think I shall not succeed?"
"Your Ialdabaoth is still very powerful in this world, if he isn't in
the other. In days gone by he used to be upheld by his priests, by those
who believed in him. Now he is supported by those who do not believe in
him, by the philosophers. A pedant of a fellow called Picrochole has
recently come on the scene who wants to make a bankrupt of science in
order to do a good turn to the Church. And just lately Pragmatism has
been invented for the express purpose of gaining credit for religion in
the minds of rationalists."
"You have been studying Pragmatism?"
"Not I! I was frivolous once, and I went in for metaphysics. I read
Hegel and Kant. I have become serious with years, and now I only trouble
myself about things evident to the senses: what the eye can see or what
the ear can hear. Man is summed up in Art. All the rest is moonshine."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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