American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
Pretty soon the gang that Mrs. Cartwright had rounded up at the prayer
meeting came stringing along in. They had brought their hymn books with
them, and they sung. The whole town was there then, and they all sung.
They sung revival hymns over Hank. And Hank, he would just cuss and
cuss. Every time he busted out into another cussing spell they would
start another hymn. Finally the men out in the front yard began to warm
up and sing, too, all but Nolan's crowd, and they gave Hank up for lost
and went back to the barroom.
The first thing they knew they had a regular old-fashioned revival
meeting going there, and that preacher was preaching a regular revival
sermon. I've been to more than one camp meeting, but for just naturally
taking hold of the whole human race by the slack of the pants and
dangling of it over hell fire, I never heard that sermon equalled. Two
or three old backsliders in the crowd came right up and repented all
over again. The whole kit-and-biling of them got the power, good and
hard, and sung and shouted till the joints of the house cracked and it
shook and swayed on its foundations. But Hank, he only cussed. He was
obstinate, Hank was, and his pride and dander had risen up.
“Darn your ornery religious hides,” he says, “you're takin' a low-down
advantage of me, you are! Let me out on to dry land, and I'll show you
who'll stick it out the longest, I will!”
Most of the folks there hadn't had any suppers, so after all the sinners
but Hank had either got converted or sneaked away, some of the women
said why not make a kind of a love feast of it, and bring some victuals,
like they do at church sociables. Because it seemed that Satan was going
to wrestle there all night, like he did with the angel Jacob, and they
ought to be prepared. So they did it. They went and they came back with
things to eat and they made hot coffee and they feasted that preacher
and themselves and Elmira and me, right in Hank's hearing.
And Hank was getting pretty hungry himself. And he was cold in that
water. And the fish were nibbling at him. And he was getting cussed out
and weak and soaked full of despair. There wasn't any way for him to sit
down and rest. He was scared of getting cramps in his legs and sinking
down with his head under water and being drowned.
He said afterward he would have done the last with pleasure if there
had been any way of starting a lawsuit for murder against that gang. So
along between ten and eleven o'clock that night he sings out:
“I give in, gosh dern ye, I give in! Let me out and I'll sign your pesky
pledge!”
Brother Cartwright was for getting a ladder and letting him climb out
right away. But Elmira said: “You don't know him like I do! If he gets
out before he's signed the pledge, he'll never do it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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