“The idea!” says Netty. “You orter be ashamed of yourself,” says Hetty. “You didn't think,” says Netty, “that you could marry both of us, did you?” Well, all I had really thought up to that time was that I was in love with 'em, and just as much in love with one as with the other, and I popped the question right out of my heart and sentiments without thinking much one way or the other. But now I seen there was going to be a difficulty. “Well,” I says, “if you want to consider yourself as two people, I suppose it would be marryin' both of you. But I always thought of you as two hearts that beat as one. And I don't see no reason why I shouldn't marry the two of you, if you want to hold out stubborn that you _are_ two.” “For my part,” says Hetty, “I think you are insulting.” “You must choose between us,” says Netty. “I would never,” says Hetty, “consent to any Mormonous goings-on of that sort.” They still insisted they was two people till finally I kind o' got to see their side of the argyment. But how was I going to choose between them when no matter which one I chooses she was tied tight to the other one? We agreed to talk it over with the Fat Lady in that show, who had a good deal of experience in concerns of the heart and she had been married four or five times and was now a widder, having accidental killed her last husband by rolling over on him in her sleep. She says to me: “How happy you could be with either, Skinny, were t'other dear charmer away!” “This ain't no jokin' matter, Dolly,” I tells her. “We come for serious advice.” “Skinny, you old fool,” she says, “there's an easy way out of this difficulty. All you got to do is get a surgeon to cut that ligament and then take your choice.” “But I ain't really got any choice,” I says, “for I loves 'em both and I loves 'em equal. And I don't believe in tamperin' with Nature.” “It ain't legal for you to marry both of 'em,” says the Fat Lady. “It ain't moral for me to cut 'em asunder,” I says. I had a feelin' all along that if they was cut asunder trouble of some kind would follow. But both Hetty and Netty was strong for it. They refused to see me or have anything to do with me, they sent me word, till I give up what they called the insultin' idea of marryin' both of 'em. They set and quarrelled with each other all the time, the Fat Lady told me, because they was jealous of each other. Bein' where they couldn't get away from each other even for a minute, that jealousy must have et into them something unusual. And finally, I knuckled under. I let myself be overrulled. I seen I would lose both of 'em unless I made a choice. So I sent 'em word by the Fat Lady that I would choose. But I knowed deep in my heart all the time that no good would come of it. You can't go against Scripter and prosper; and the Scripter says: “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.”