The Right Stuff: Some Episodes in the Career of a North BritonHay, Ian
General
The Right Stuff: Some Episodes in the Career of a North Briton
Hay, Ian
Great Britain -- Fiction
He sat in the corner of the railway carriage, passing in review the
means of conquest at his disposal. His actual stock of scholarship, he
knew, was well up to the required standard: he was as letter perfect in
Latin, Greek, Mathematics, and Literature as hard study and remorseless
coaching could make him. Everything needful was in his head--but could
he get it out again? That was the question. The roaring world in which
he would find himself, the strange examination-room, the quizzing
professors--would these combine with his native shyness to seal the lips
and cramp the pen of Robert Chalmers Fordyce? No--a thousand times no!
He would win through! Robert set his teeth, braced himself, and kicked
the man opposite.
He apologised, attributing the discourtesy to the length of his legs--he
stood about six feet three--and smiled so largely and benignantly, that
the Man Opposite, who had intended to be thoroughly disagreeable, melted
at once, and said it was the fault of the Company for providing such
restricted accommodation, and gave Robert _The Scotsman_ to read.
Robert thanked him, and, effacing himself behind _The Scotsman_,--though,
for all the instruction or edification that his present frame of mind
permitted him to extract from that coping-stone of Scottish journalism,
he might as well have been reading the Koran,--returned to his thoughts.
He collated in his mind the pieces of advice which had been bestowed
upon him by his elders and betters before his departure. In brief,
their collective wisdom came to this:--
His father had bidden him--
(a) To address all professors with whom he might come in contact as
"Sir";
(b) To arrive at the Examination each morning at least five minutes
before the advertised time;
(c) To refrain from lending money to, or otherwise countenancing the
advances of, persons of insinuating address who would doubtless
accost him in the streets of Edinburgh.
The Dominie had said--
"When in doubt, mind that practically everything in an examination
governs the subjunctive.
"If there is a _viva voce_, be sure and speak up and give your answers
as though you were sure of them. They may be wrong, but on the other
hand they may be right. Anyway, the one thing the examiners will not
thole is a body that dithers.
"Take a last keek at that Proposition--they _may_ call them Theorems,
though--about the Square on the Hypotenuse. It hasn't been set for four
years.
"If you are given a piece of Greek Testament to translate, for mercy's
sake do not be too glib. Dinna translate a thing until you are sure it
is there. They have an unholy habit of leaving out a couple of verses
some place in the middle, and you're just the one to tumble head-first
into the _lacuna_. (I ken ye, Robbie!)
"And whatever ye do, just bear in mind it's your only chance, and _grup_
on tae it! _Post est occasio calva_, laddie! And dinna disappoint an
auld man that has taught ye all he kens himsel'!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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