“I needed the impertinence, I guess. But frankly, Miss Colton, I can't
see why you should be glad because I have gone to work. I can't see what
difference my working or idling can possibly make to you.”
“Oh, it doesn't, of course--except on general principles. I am a
dreadful idler myself; but then, I am a woman, and idleness is a woman's
right.”
I thought of Dorinda and of the other housewives of Denboro and how
little of that particular “right” they enjoyed; which thought brought
again and forcibly to my mind the difference between this girl's life
and theirs--and Mother's--and my own.
“A man,” continued Miss Colton, sagely, “should not idle. He should work
and work hard--so that the rest of us may be as good for nothing as we
please. That is philosophy, isn't it?”
“Yes.”
“You were good enough not to say what sort of philosophy. Thank you. But
seriously, Mr. Paine, I am fond of your mother--very fond, considering
our short acquaintance--and when I saw her lying there, so patient, and
deprived of the little luxuries and conveniences which she needs, and
which a little more money might bring to her, it seemed to me . . .
Gracious! what a lot of nonsense I am talking! What is the matter with
me this afternoon? Do let's change the subject. Have you sold your land
yet, Mr. Paine? Of course you haven't! That is more nonsense, isn't it.”
I think she had again spoken merely on the impulse of the moment;
doubtless there was no deliberate intention on her part to bring me to a
realization of my position, the position I occupied in her thoughts;
but if she had had such an intent she could not have done it more
effectively. She believed me to have been neglecting Mother, and her
interest in my “doing something worth while” was inspired merely because
she wished Mother to be supplied with those “luxuries and conveniences”
she had mentioned. Well, my question was answered; this was the
difference my working or idling made to her. And, for a minute or two,
I had been foolish enough to fancy her interested, as a friend, in my
success or failure in life. I might have known better. And yet, because
of the novelty of the thing, because I had so few friends, I felt a pang
of disappointment.
But I resolved she should not know she had disappointed me. I might have
been a fool, but I would keep my foolishness a secret.
“No, Miss Colton,” I said, with a smile, “I haven't sold yet.”
“Father said he saw you at the bank. Did he say anything about the
land?”
“He said his offer was still open, that was all.”
“You are resolved not to sell.”
“To him? Yes, I am resolved. I think he knows it. I tried to make it
plain.”
“You say to him. Are you thinking of selling to any one else? To the
town?”
“No. Probably not to any one. Certainly not to your father or the town.”
She looked at me, with an odd expression, and seemed to hesitate.
“Mr. Paine,” she said, slowly, “would you resent my giving you another
bit of--advice?”
“Not at all. What is it this time?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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