It is usual, I believe, to thank the performers in a new play, for the exertion of their several abilities. But where (as in this instance) their merit has been so striking and uncontroverted, as to call for the warmest and truest applause from a number of judicious audiences, the poet's after-praise comes like the feeble acclamation of a child to close the shouts of a multitude. The conduct, however, of the principals in a theatre cannot be so apparent to the public. I think it therefore but justice to declare, that from this theatre (the only one I can speak of from experience) those writers who wish to try the dramatic line will meet with that candour and liberal attention, which are generally allowed to be better calculated to lead genius into excellence, than either the precepts of judgment, or the guidance of experience. The AUTHOR * * * * * * * DRAMATIS PERSONAE As originally acted at COVENT GARDEN THEATRE in 1775 Sir ANTHONY ABSOLUTE CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE FAULKLAND ACRES Sir LUCIUS O'TRIGGER FAG DAVID THOMAS Mrs. MALAPROP LYDIA LANGUISH JULIA LUCY Maid, Boy, Servants, &c. SCENE--Bath. Time of action--Five hours. * * * * * * * PROLOGUE By the AUTHOR [Enter SERJEANT-AT-LAW, and ATTORNEY following, and giving a paper.] SERJEANT What's here!--a vile cramp hand! I cannot see Without my spectacles. ATTORNEY He means his fee. Nay, Mr. Serjeant, good sir, try again. [Gives money.] SERJEANT The scrawl improves! [more] O come, 'tis pretty plain. Hey! how's this? Dibble!--sure it cannot be! A poet's brief! a poet and a fee! ATTORNEY Yes, sir! though you without reward, I know, Would gladly plead the Muse's cause. SERJEANT So!--so! ATTORNEY And if the fee offends, your wrath should fall On me. SERJEANT Dear Dibble, no offence at all. ATTORNEY Some sons of Phoebus in the courts we meet, SERJEANT And fifty sons of Phoebus in the Fleet! ATTORNEY Nor pleads he worse, who with a decent sprig Of bays adorns his legal waste of wig. SERJEANT Full-bottom'd heroes thus, on signs, unfurl A leaf of laurel in a grove of curl! Yet tell your client, that, in adverse days, This wig is warmer than a bush of bays. ATTORNEY Do you, then, sir, my client's place supply, Profuse of robe, and prodigal of tie-- Do you, with all those blushing powers of face, And wonted bashful hesitating grace, Rise in the court, and flourish on the case. [Exit.]