ABSOLUTE Nay, nay, ma'am, we will not differ as to that.--Here [taking out a picture], here is Miss Lydia Languish.--What a difference!--ay, there is the heavenly assenting smile that first gave soul and spirit to my hopes!--those are the lips which sealed a vow, as yet scarce dry in Cupid's calendar! and there the half-resentful blush, that would have checked the ardour of my thanks!--Well, all that's past!--all over indeed!--There, madam--in beauty, that copy is not equal to you, but in my mind its merit over the original, in being still the same, is such--that--I cannot find in my heart to part with it. [Puts it up again.] LYDIA [Softening.] 'Tis your own doing, sir--I, I, I suppose you are perfectly satisfied. ABSOLUTE O, most certainly--sure, now, this is much better than being in love!--ha! ha! ha!--there's some spirit in this!--What signifies breaking some scores of solemn promises:--all that's of no consequence, you know. To be sure people will say, that miss don't know her own mind--but never mind that! Or, perhaps, they may be ill-natured enough to hint, that the gentleman grew tired of the lady and forsook her--but don't let that fret you. LYDIA There is no bearing his insolence. [Bursts into tears.] [Re-enter Mrs. MALAPROP and Sir ANTHONY ABSOLUTE.] Mrs. MALAPROP Come, we must interrupt your billing and cooing awhile. LYDIA This is worse than your treachery and deceit, you base ingrate! [Sobbing.] Sir ANTHONY What the devil's the matter now?--Zounds! Mrs. Malaprop, this is the oddest billing and cooing I ever heard!--but what the deuce is the meaning of it?--I am quite astonished! ABSOLUTE Ask the lady, sir. Mrs. MALAPROP O mercy!--I'm quite analyzed, for my part!--Why, Lydia, what is the reason of this? LYDIA Ask the gentleman, ma'am. Sir ANTHONY Zounds! I shall be in a frenzy!--Why, Jack, you are not come out to be any one else, are you? Mrs. MALAPROP Ay, sir, there's no more trick, is there?--you are not like Cerberus, three gentlemen at once, are you? ABSOLUTE You'll not let me speak--I say the lady can account for this much much better than I can. LYDIA Ma'am, you once commanded me never to think of Beverley again--there is the man--I now obey you: for, from this moment, I renounce him for ever. [Exit.] Mrs. MALAPROP O mercy! and miracles! what a turn here is--why, sure, captain, you haven't behaved disrespectfully to my niece. Sir ANTHONY Ha! ha! ha!--ha! ha! ha!--now I see it. Ha! ha! ha!--now I see it--you have been too lively, Jack. ABSOLUTE Nay, sir, upon my word---- Sir ANTHONY Come, no lying, Jack--I'm sure 'twas so. Mrs. MALAPROP O Lud! Sir Anthony!--O fy, captain! ABSOLUTE Upon my soul, ma'am---- Sir ANTHONY Come, no excuses, Jack; why, your father, you rogue, was so before you:--the blood of the Absolutes was always impatient.--Ha! ha! ha! poor little Lydia! why, you've frightened her, you dog, you have. ABSOLUTE By all that's good, sir----