Antisemitism -- Fiction; Jews -- Austria -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Vienna (Austria) -- Fiction
He saw himself walking with his father over the
Ringstrasse in the late evening; and finally a merry-go-round whirled
past him. Sissy with her laughing lips and eyes was rocking about on
a brown wooden horse. Else, graceful and ladylike, was sitting in a
little red carriage, and Anna rode an Arab with the reins nonchalantly
in her hand. Anna! How young and graceful she looked! Was that really
the same being whom he was to see again in a few hours? and had he
really only been away from her for ten days? And was he ever to see
again all that he had left ten days ago? The little angel in blue
clay between the flower-beds, the verandah with the wooden gable, the
silent garden with the currant- and the lilac-bushes? It all seemed
absolutely inconceivable. She will wait for me on the white seat under
the pear-tree, he thought, and I will kiss her hands as though nothing
had happened.
"How are you, George dear?" she will ask me. "Have you been true to
me?" No.... That's not her way of asking, but she will feel without
asking at all or my answering that I have not come back the same as I
went away. If she only does feel it! If I am only saved from having to
lie! But haven't I done so already? And he thought of the letters which
he had written from the lake, letters full of tenderness and yearning,
which had really been nothing but lies. And he thought of how he had
waited at night with a beating heart, his ear glued to the door, till
all was quiet in the inn; of how he had then stolen over the passage
to that other woman who lay there pale and naked, with her dark eyes
wide open, enveloped in the perfume and bluish shimmer of her hair.
And he thought of how he and she one night, half drunken with desire
and audacity, had stepped out on to the verandah, beneath which the
water plashed so seductively. If any one had been out on the lake in
the deep darkness of this hour he would have seen their white bodies
shining through the night. George thrilled at the memory. We were out
of our senses, he thought; how easily it might have happened that I
should be lying to-day with a bullet through my heart six feet under
the ground. Of course there's still a chance of it. They all know.
Else knew first, though she scarcely ever came down from Auhof into
the village. James Wyner, who saw me with the other woman one evening
standing on the landing-stage is bound to have told her. Will Else
marry him? I can understand her liking him so much. He is handsome,
that chiselled face, those cold grey eyes which look shrewd and
straight into the world, a young Englishman. Who knows if he wouldn't
have turned into a kind of Oskar Ehrenberg in Vienna? And George
remembered what Else had told him about her brother. He had struck
George as so self-possessed, almost mature in fact, on his sick-bed
in the nursing-home. And now he was said to be leading a wild life in
Ostend, to be gambling and gadding about with the most evil associates,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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