The Road to UnderstandingPorter, Eleanor H. (Eleanor Hodgman)
General
The Road to Understanding
Porter, Eleanor H. (Eleanor Hodgman)
Marriage -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction
And there was the money. Burke acted, for all the world, as if he
thought she ate money, and ate it whether she was hungry or not, just
to spite him. As if she didn't squeeze every penny till it fairly
shrieked, now; and as if anybody could make ten dollars a week go
further than she did! To be sure, at first she had been silly and
extravagant, running up bills, and borrowing of Mrs. Jones, as she did.
And of course she was a little unreasonable and childish about keeping
that account-book. But that was only at the first, when she was quite
ignorant and inexperienced. It was very different now. She kept a cash
account, and most of the time it came right. How she wished she had an
allowance, though! But Burke utterly refused to give her that. Said
she'd be extravagant and spend it all the first day. As if she had not
learned better than that by bitter experience! And as if anything could
be worse than the way they were trying to get along now, with her
teasing for money all the time, and him insisting on seeing the bills,
and then asking how they _could_ manage to eat so many eggs, and saying
he should think she used butter to oil the floors with. He didn't see
how it could go so fast any other way!
And wasn't he always telling her she did not manage right? And didn't he
give her particular fits one day and an awful lecture on wastefulness,
just because he happened to find half a loaf of mouldy bread in the jar?
Just as if _he_ didn't spend something--and a good big something,
too!--on all those cigars he smoked. Yet he flew into fits over a bit of
mouldy bread of _hers_.
To be sure, when she cried, he called himself a brute, and said he
didn't mean it, and it was only because he hated so to have her pinching
and saving all the time that it made him mad--raving mad. Just as if she
was to blame that they did not have any money!
But she was to blame, of course, in a way. If it had not been for her,
he would be living at home with all the money he wanted. Sometimes it
came to her with sickening force that maybe Burke was thinking that,
too. Was he? Could it be that he was sorry he had married her? Very
well--her chin came up proudly. He need not stay if he did not want to.
He could go. But--the chin was not so high, now--he was all there was.
She had nobody but Burke now. _Could_ it be--
She believed she would ask Dr. Gleason some time. She liked the doctor.
He had been there several times now, and she felt real well acquainted
with him. Perhaps he would know. But, after all, she was not going to
worry. She did not believe that really Burke wished he had not married
her. It was only that he was tired and fretted with his work. It would
be better by and by, when he had got ahead a little. And of course he
would get ahead. They would not always have to live like this!
* * * * *
It was in March that Burke came home to dinner one evening with a
radiant face, yet with an air of worried excitement.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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