Brothers -- Drama; German drama -- Translations into English; Inheritance and succession -- Drama; Tragedies (Drama)
SPIEGEL. Ah, yes! my stratagems. Well, when you get into a town, the
first thing is to fish out from the beadles, watchmen, and turnkeys, who
are their best customers, and for these, accordingly, you must look out;
then ensconce yourself snugly in coffee-houses, brothels, and
beer-shops, and observe who cry out most against the cheapness of the
times, the reduced five per cents., and the increasing nuisance of police
regulations; who rail the loudest against government, or decry
physiognomical science, and such like? These are the right sort of
fellows, brother. Their honesty is as loose as a hollow tooth; you have
only to apply your pincers. Or a shorter and even better plan is to drop
a full purse in the public highway, conceal yourself somewhere near, and
mark who finds it. Presently after you come running up, search, proclaim
your loss aloud, and ask him, as it were casually, "Have you perchance
picked up a purse, sir?" If he says "Yes," why then the devil fails you.
But if he denies it, with a "pardon me, sir, I remember, I am sorry,
sir," (he jumps up), then, brother, you've done the trick. Extinguish
your lantern, cunning Diogenes, you have found your match.
RAZ. You are an accomplished practitioner.
SPIEGEL. My God! As if that had ever been doubted. Well, then, when
you have got your man into the net, you must take great care to land him
cleverly. You see, my son, the way I have managed is thus: as soon as I
was on the scent I stuck to my candidate like a leech; I drank
brotherhood with him, and, _nota bene_, you must always pay the score.
That costs a pretty penny, it is true, but never mind that. You must go
further; introduce him to gaming-houses and brothels; entangle him in
broils and rogueries till he becomes bankrupt in health and strength, in
purse, conscience, and reputation; for I must tell you, by the way, that
you will make nothing of it unless you ruin both body and soul. Believe
me, brother, and I have experienced it more than fifty times in my
extensive practice, that when the honest man is once ousted from his
stronghold, the devil has it all his own way--the transition is then as
easy as from a whore to a devotee. But hark! What bang was that?
RAZ. It was thunder; go on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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