Gilbert Lloyd remained for some time in the room where Gertrude had
left him, walking to and fro before the windows, lost in thought. The
passion and excitement of the day had not been without their effect on
him also, and certain components mingled with them in his case which
had no existence in the sum of Gertrude's suffering--doubt, dread,
suspense, uncertainty. What did Gertrude mean? What still remained
hidden, after that terrible interview in which so much had been
revealed? What was still unexplained, after all that dreary and
hopeless explanation? These questions, which he could not answer,
which it was his best hope might never be answered, troubled Gilbert
Lloyd sorely. That the agreement which had been made between him and
his wife was highly satisfactory to him he knew as clearly as Gertrude
knew it; but in the way in which it had been brought about, in the
manner of its decision, the advantage had been Gertrude's. Gilbert
Lloyd did not like that, though this parting was so utter and so final
that he might well have dismissed all such considerations, and turned
his back upon the past, as he had proposed to do in reality, and as he
did not entertain a doubt that Gertrude would do in downright real
earnest, never bestowing so much thought or memory on him again as to
produce the smallest practical effect upon her future life. He knew
that he had achieved a great success that day; that this final
separation between himself and Gertrude was an event in every way
desirable, and which he would have hailed with satisfaction at any
period since he had wearied of her and begun to regard marriage as the
very worst and stupidest of all mistakes;--a mental process which had
commenced surprisingly soon after he had made the blunder. But,
somehow, Gilbert Lloyd did not taste the flavour of success. It was
not sufficiently unmingled for the palate of a man of despotic
self-will, and the ultra intolerance of complete callousness and
scoundrelism. At length he checked himself in his monotonous walk, and
muttering, "Yes, I'll go back it's safest," he rang the bell.
His summons was not obeyed with remarkable alacrity--waiters and
chambermaids had had a bard time of it at the George of late; but a
waiter did at length present himself. By this time the news of a
"sporting gent's" death in the immediate vicinity had reached the
George, and the man looked at Lloyd with the irrational curiosity
invariably excited by the sight of anyone who has been recently in
close contact with crime, horror, or grief.
"I rang to tell you I shall send my traps down from Pavilion-place,
but I shall not sleep here," said Lloyd; "I shall come up to breakfast
in the morning, though."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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