He was free! That was his first thought when he began to ponder over
the probable results of the step he had taken,--free to come and go as
he liked, to do as he listed, without the chance of incurring black
looks or reproaches. Not that he had had either from Gertrude for a
very long time. When her faith in her husband was first shattered;
when she first began to perceive that the man whom in her girlish
fancy she had regarded as a hero of romance--a creature bright,
glorious, and rare--was formed of very ordinary clay, Gertrude was
vexed and annoyed by the discovery. She was young, too, and had a
young woman's belief in the efficacy of tears and sulks; so that when
Gilbert stayed out late, or brought home companions to whom she
objected, or went away on business tours for several days together,
Gertrude at first met him with sharp reproaches, dissolving into
passionate fits of weeping, or varied with sufficiently feeble
attempts at dignity. But Gilbert laughed these last to scorn, and
either took no notice of the reproaches, or with an oath bade them
cease. And then, the glamour having utterly died out, and the
selfishness and brutality of her husband being fully known to her,
Gertrude's manner had entirely changed. No sighs were ever heard by
Gilbert Lloyd, no red eyelids, no cheeks swollen by traces of recent
tears were ever seen by him. If the cold cynical expression on his
wife's face had hot been sufficient, the bitter mocking tones of her
voice never failed to tell him of the contempt she felt for him. That
she was no longer his dupe; that she bitterly despised herself for
ever having been fooled by him; that she had gauged the depth of his
knavery and the shallowness of his pretensions,--all this was
recognisable in her every look, in her every word. No brutality on her
husband's part--and his brutality sometimes found other vent than
language--no intermittent fits of softness towards her such as would
occasionally come over him, had the smallest effect on her face or on
her voice. She bore his blows silently, his caresses shudderingly, and
when they were over she looked up at him with the cold cynical face,
and replied to him with the bitter mocking voice.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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