little sooner, might have averted the necessity for such a _coup_, was
calculated to occupy him entirely, and banish from his mind, anything
which might divert him from the pursuit of his object.
And now it seemed wonderful to him that he could have thus forgotten
her--now, when he was under the renewed spell of her beauty and her
scorn.
There was an extraordinary fascination for him, even in the midst of
his anger, in the mingled strangeness and familiarity with which she
presented herself to his mind. He had a good deal of imagination,
though but little poetry, in his nature, and the extraordinarily
exceptional position of this woman and himself--the strangeness of the
knowledge that she had accepted the fact of there being nothing mutual
or even relative in their position now or ever--appealed, in the midst
of his passion, to his imagination.
That she should dare to treat him thus,--that she should know him so
little as to dare to treat him thus. He thought this, he said this
more than once through his shut teeth; but he was not a fool, even in
his rage, and he knew he was talking folly to himself in the moment
that he uttered the words. Why should she not dare? Indeed, there was
no daring about it. He had made the position for himself, and he was
for the first time brought face to face with all the details of it.
What was that position externally in the world's sight, in the only
point of view in which he had any practical right to consider it? Just
this: Miss Lambert did not choose to admit him to her acquaintance. He
was helpless; she was in her right. He might force her to meet him in
the houses of other people--at the Marchioness of Carabas' house, for
instance--simply because she could not afford, out of consideration
for her own social position, to give up her patroness; and also (he
began to understand Gertrude now sufficiently to know that this second
argument was by far the stronger), because she Would never suffer the
consideration of meeting or not meeting him to influence her actions,
to form a motive of her conduct in the smallest degree. He felt that
with a smart twinge of pain, the keen pain of mortified self-love. He
had simply ceased to exist for her--that was all; she had taken the
full sense of their convention, and was acting on it _tout bonnement_.
He might, therefore, calculate safely upon meeting her, without her
consent, at other houses than her own; but forcing or inducing her to
admit him there, was, he felt, entirely beyond his power. He was
wholly insensible to the extreme incongruity of such a possibility,
had it existed; and no wonder, for in their position all was
incongruous, and propriety or impropriety had lost their meaning.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account