and undefined.
Had love and fear only possessed his dark soul between them, the
strife might soon have ended, in a division in which the man's own
safety would have been consulted. Gilbert Lloyd would have made up his
mind that, as his first fancy for Gertrude had passed away, so this
eccentric renewal of it would also harmlessly decline. The whole
difficulty might have resolved itself into his persuading Ticehurst to
go abroad in his company, until the "rich brute" should have escaped
all risk of an "entanglement," which Lloyd would have painted in the
most alarming colours, and Lloyd himself have recovered from a passing
fit of weak folly, which he might have been trusted to learn to
despise, on a sober consideration of its bearing on his interests in
the career in which he had contrived with so much difficulty to
_lancer_ himself.
But the look which he had seen in Gertrude's proud calm face--the
smile which was so absolutely new to him, that it would have thrilled
him through with jealousy to whomsoever addressed, because it revealed
to him that she had never felt for him that which prompted its soft
and trusting sweetness--the smile which had fired all the evil
passions in his exceptionally evil nature--had shown Gilbert a far
more terrible truth: she had never given him such a smile. _Soit_. He
had had such as he had cared for, and he was tired of them, and done
with them, and as bright and beautiful were to be had for love or
money, particularly for money. Thus he might have thought, half in
consoling earnest, half in mortification, and acted on the reassuring
argument. But the smile, the unknown smile, which had not lighted her
face upon their bridal day, which had never adorned the happiest
hour--and they had had some happy hours--of their marriage, had
beamed upon the man whom of all men living Gilbert Lloyd hated most
bitterly--and that man was his brother. His brother, Miles Challoner,
their dead father's darling son--(and when Lloyd thought of his father
his face was horrible to see, and his heart was foul with curses and
unnatural hate, for he hated his dead father more than his living
brother),--the heir who had been his rival always, his master in their
nursery, the object of his bitterest envy and enmity when he was so
young that it was a mystery of the devil how such passions could have
a place in his childish heart. In the name of the devil,--in whom
Gilbert Lloyd was almost tempted to believe as he watched that smile,
and felt the tempest rise in his heart, like the waves under the
moonbeams,--how had _this_ complication come about! This he could
readily ascertain, but what would it avail him to know it? If she
loved this hated brother of his, what could he do? Enjoy the hideous
revenge of keeping quiet, and letting their mutual love grow into the
blessing and hope of their existence perhaps, and then come forward
and expose all the truth, and crush the two at once? And then? His own
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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