urgent demand made upon him for the exercise of his feelings, that
anything of the kind now decidedly disagreed with him, and he went to
bed in a rueful state of mind, and a shaky condition of body. The
night brought him calmness and counsel, and the symptoms of illness
passed off sufficiently for him to resolve on keeping the engagement
he had made with Miles for the following day. "The sooner his mind is
at ease, the sooner will mine be, on his account and my own." Thus ran
Lord Sandilands' thoughts as he lay awake, listening against his will
to the splash of the sea, and inclined to blame its monotonous murmur
for the nervousness which had him in its grip. "I suppose it's not the
right thing for me to help Miles to marry Gertrude--my old friend
would not have liked the notion of his son and heir's marrying my
natural daughter; but what can I do? The young fellow is not like
other men of his age and position; in fact, he isn't, strictly
speaking, I suppose, a 'young' fellow at all. If he were, and
resembled the young men of the day a little more, I fancy he never
would have thought of marrying her. And then there's an awful blot
upon the Challoners, too--and she is such a charming girl, no tongue
has ever dared to wag against her. Suppose I did not encourage it,
that I set myself against it, what could I do? I have literally no
right in Miles's case, and none that I can acknowledge in Gertrude's,
and I should only make them both dislike me, without preventing the
marriage in the least. I wish--because of what poor old Mark would
have thought--that they had never met; but I can't go beyond that--no,
I can't. But if she cares for that wretch, good heavens! what shall I
do?" The old man put his shrunken hands up to his bald temples, and
twisted his head about on his pillow, and groaned in his solitude and
perplexity. "Must I threaten him with exposure, and so drive him out
of the country? or must I tell her the truth about herself, and ask
her to believe, on the faith of my unexplained assertion, that the man
is one whom she must never think of marrying?"
The position was one of indisputable difficulty; the "pleasant
vice"--that long-ago story of a dead woman, deceived indeed, but with
no extraordinary cruelty, a story which had not troubled Lord
Sandilands' conscience very much--had manufactured itself finally into
a whip of stout dimensions and stinging quality, and he was getting a
very sufficient taste of it just now.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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