Rome -- History -- Republic, 265-30 B.C. -- Fiction
In a little while this feeling passed away, and, though still nervous and
trembling, the young girl smiled at her own alarm, as she took up the
billet, which was directed to herself in a delicate feminine hand, with
the usual form of superscription—
"To Julia Serena, health"—
although the writer’s name was omitted.
She gazed at it for a moment, wondering from whom it could come; since she
had no habitual correspondent, and the hand-writing, though beautiful, was
strange to her. She opened it, and read, her wonder and agitation
increasing with every line—
"You love Paullus Arvina," thus it ran, "and are loved by him. He is
worthy all your affection. Are you worthy of him, I know not. I love him
also, but alas! less happy, am not loved again, nor hope to be, nor indeed
deserve it! They tell me you are beautiful; I have seen you, and yet I
know not—they told me once that I too was beautiful, and yet I know not! I
know this only, that I am desperate, and base, and miserable! Yet fear me
not, nor mistake me. I love Paullus, yet would not have him mine, now; no!
not to be happy—as to be his would render me. Yet had it not been for you,
I might have been virtuous, honourable, happy, _his_—for winning him from
me, you won from me hope; and with hope virtue; and with virtue honour!
Ought I not then to hate you, Julia? Perchance I ought—to do so were at
least Roman—and hating to avenge! Perchance, if I _hoped_, I should. But
hoping nothing, I hate nothing, dread nothing, and wish nothing.—Yea! by
the Gods! I wish to know Paullus happy—yea! more, I wish, even at cost of
my own misery, to make him happy. Shall I do so, by making him yours,
Julia? I think so, for be sure—be sure, he loves you. Else had he yielded
to my blandishments, to my passion, to my beauty! for I am—by the Gods! I
am, though he sees it not, as beautiful as thou. And I am proud
likewise—or was proud once—for misery has conquered pride in me; or what
is weaker yet, and baser—love!"
"I think you will make him happy. You can if you will. Do so, by all the
Gods! I adjure you do so; and if you do not, tremble!—tremble, I say—for
think, if I sacrifice myself to win bliss for him—think, girl, how gladly,
how triumphantly, I would destroy a rival, who should fail to do that, for
which alone I spare her.
"Spare her! nay, but much more; for I can save her—can and will.
"Strange things will come to pass ere long, and terrible; and to no one so
terrible as to you.
"There is a man in Rome, so powerful, that the Gods, only, if there be
Gods, can compare with him—so haughty in ambition, that stood he second in
Olympus, he would risk all things to be first—so cruel, that the dug-drawn
Hyrcanian tigress were pitiful compared to him—so reckless of all things
divine or human, that, did his own mother stand between him and his
vengeance, he would strike through her heart to gain it.
"This man hath Paullus made his foe—he hath crossed his path; he hath
_foiled_ him!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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