I do my best to guard against excessive hopes; I have calculated
approximately that, after paying all the debts, we should have a hundred
and twenty to a hundred and fifty thousand francs left. A fortune of
five millions should leave so much salvage at least. I intend to take
ten thousand francs and seek my fortune in the new States of America;
the rest I shall resign to my sister.
Enough of writing for to-night. Recalling such memories is a mournful
occupation. Nevertheless, I feel that it has made me calmer. Work is
surely a sacred law, since even the lightest task discharged brings a
certain contentment and serenity. Yet man does not love work; he cannot
fail to see its good effects; he tastes them every day, and blesses
them, and each day he comes to his work with the same reluctance. I
think that is a singular and mysterious contradiction, as if in toil we
felt at once a chastisement, and the divine and fatherly hand of the
chastiser.
_Thursday_
When I woke this morning a letter from old M. Laubépin was brought to
me. He invited me to dinner and apologized for taking such a liberty.
He said nothing about my affairs. I augured unfavourably from this
silence.
In the meantime I fetched my sister from her convent, and took her about
Paris. The child knows nothing of our ruin. In the course of the day
she had some rather expensive fancies. She provided herself liberally
with gloves, pink note-paper, bonbons for her friends, delicate scents,
special soaps, and tiny pencils, all very necessary useful things, but
not as necessary as a dinner. May she never have to realize this!
At six o’clock I was at M. Laubépin’s in the Rue Cassette. I do not
know our old friend’s age, but to-day I found him looking just the same
as ever—tall and thin, with a little stoop, untidy white hair, and
piercing eyes under bushy black eyebrows—altogether a face at once
strong and subtle. I recognised the unvarying costume, the
old-fashioned black coat, the professional white cravat, the family
diamond in the shirt-frill—in short, all the outward signs of a serious,
methodical, and conservative nature. The old gentleman was waiting for
me at the open door of his little _salon_. After making me a low bow,
he took my hand lightly between two of his fingers and conducted me to a
homely looking old lady who was standing by the fire-place.
"The Marquis de Champcey d’Hauterive!" said M. Laubépin, in his strong,
rich, and emphatic voice, and turning quickly to me, added in a humbler
tone, "Mme. Laubépin!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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