The Romance of Mathematics: Being the Original Researches of a Lady Professor of Girtham College in Polemical Science, with some Account of the Social Properties of a Conic; Equations to Brain Waves; Social Forces; and the Laws of Political Motion.Ditchfield, P. H. (Peter Hampson)
Science
The Romance of Mathematics: Being the Original Researches of a Lady Professor of Girtham College in Polemical Science, with some Account of the Social Properties of a Conic; Equations to Brain Waves; Social Forces; and the Laws of Political Motion.
Ditchfield, P. H. (Peter Hampson)
Satire, English; Women -- Education -- Great Britain
[Editorial Note.]--In the bundle of papers which contained the foregoing
lectures, some letters of great interest were found, which show that the
fame of the learned Lady Professor of Girtham College had already gone
abroad, and attracted the attention of the leading statesmen of the day.
It is to be regretted that the answers to these letters are not
forthcoming, as it might be proved from them that the science of
polemical mathematics has already influenced the minds of our
legislators in their conduct of affairs at home and abroad. The
following letter is of unique interest, and may be taken as evidence of
the favourable impression which this new science has made on the mind of
one of our greatest thinkers and statesmen:
Downing Street,
May, 18--
My dear Lady Professor,--The report of the amazing results of your
scientific researches has reached me, and I congratulate you most
heartily on the originality and acumen which you have displayed in your
investigations. A new light has dawned upon our country. Instead of
groping in the darkness of political warfare, ensnared by party ties and
jealousies, the statesmen of the future will be able to calculate and
determine the correct course with mathematical precision and perfect
accuracy. No one can dispute the truth of a proposition in Euclid, or
the genuineness of Newton's laws; and if your method enables men to
calculate and determine the correct political course of action, to solve
political problems as easily as exponential equations, why--then adieu
to the bickerings of party, the querulous complaints of the Opposition!
Nay, joy to the Ministry! There will be no Opposition! Our statesmen
will be able to guide the great ship of the State by means of charts
which know no error; and they will resemble an association of savants
met together to determine the exact moment of the transit of Venus, or
to examine the degree of density of a comet's tail.
This condition of Parliamentary procedure is much to be desired; you
have shown how such an ideal state of things may be obtained. In the
name of the Government I thank you for your endeavours on behalf of your
country's welfare, and look forward to a further development of your
admirably conceived system. As in the domain of ordinary science there
are complex questions which defy the acumen of the philosopher; so in
polemical science there may be questions which present the same
difficulties and complications. But as the first are daily yielding
before the persevering attacks of the mathematician, so I doubt not
polemical science will soon overcome the various problems which may
arise.
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