[_This essay upon Female Education was evidently written when the future Professor of Girtham College was still in the lowlier condition of studentship, before she attained that eminence for which her talents so justly entitled her. Its unfinished condition tends to show that it was probably evolved during moments of relaxation from severer studies, without any idea of subsequent publication._] Oh, why should I be doomed to the degradation of bearing such a foolish appellation! A Girtham Girl! I suppose we have to thank that fiend of invention who is responsible for most of the titular foibles and follies of mankind--artful Alliteration. The two _G_'s, people imagine, run so well together; and it is wonderful that they do not append some other delectable title, such as 'The Gushing Girl of Girtham,' or 'The Glaring Girl of Glittering Girtham.' O Alliteration! Alliteration! what crimes have been wrought in thy name! Little dost thou think of the mischief thou hast done, flooding the world with meaningless titles and absurd phrases. How canst thou talk of 'Lyrics of Loneliness,' 'Soliloquies of Song,' 'Pearls of the Peerage'? Why dost thou stay thine hand? We long for thee to enrich the world with 'Dreams of a Dotard,' the 'Dog Doctor's Daughters,' and other kindred works. Exercise thine art on these works of transcendent merit, but cease to style thy humble, but rebellious, servant a Girtham Girl! But what's in a name? Let the world's tongue wag. I am a student, a hard-working, book-devouring, never-wearied student, who burns her midnight oil, and drinks the strong bohea, to keep her awake during the long hours of toil, like any Oxford or Cambridge undergraduate. I often wonder whether these mighty warriors in the lists--the class lists, I mean--really work half so hard as we poor unfortunate 'Girls of Girtham.' Now that I am writing in strict confidence, so that not even the walls can hear the scratchings of my pen, or understand the meaning of all this scribbling, I beg to state that I have my serious doubts upon the subject; and when last I attended a soirée of the Anthropological Society, sounds issued forth from the windows of the snug college rooms, which could not be taken as evidences of profound and undisturbed study.