Not long after the above conversation, Tuptim began to come to
school. She wanted to learn to write her name in English, she said,
and she came to me once or twice a week until she had acquired that
accomplishment, which seemed to give her immense satisfaction. After
she had done this, she asked me if I would write the name "Khoon P'hra
Bâlât" for her in English. I wrote it for her at once, without asking
her why she wanted it or whose name it was. I did not even know if it
was the name of a man or a woman, as the Siamese have no masculine and
feminine terminations to their names and titles. She immediately began
to trace the letters for herself, and I could see a world of tenderness
in her large dreamy eyes as she copied and recopied the name in its
English characters. I cannot rightly remember how often or how long
she came to the school, for she was but one among many; but, whenever
she found me engaged with the princes and princesses, she would sit
for hours on the marble floor, and listen to our simple exercises
of translating English into Siamese or Siamese into English, with
increasing interest and delight expressed in her pure, guileless face.
I do remember that she was never alone, but always accompanied by two
or three young companions of about her own age, who were as listless
and idle as she was absorbed and interested.
Perhaps this was the reason--with her extreme youth, for she was still
but a child, and seemed even younger than she really was--why I never
attempted to enter into conversation with her, or to learn anything
about her history and her feelings. If I had done this, I might have
succeeded in winning her confidence, and perhaps have been the means of
reconciling her to her life in the palace. That I did not, will ever be
a source of poignant regret to me.
One afternoon, as I was about leaving the palace after school, she
came running up to me, took a scrap of paper from under her vest, and
held it silently before my eyes, while I read what was written upon
it. It was the name "Khoon P'hra Bâlât," carefully written in English
characters, and she seemed delighted with the praise I bestowed on the
writing.
"Whose name is it, Tuptim?" I asked.
She cast down her eyes and hesitated for a moment; then, raising them
to mine, she replied: "It is the name of the favorite disciple of the
high-priest, Chow Khoon Sah; he lives at the temple of Rajah Bah ditt
Sang, and sometimes preaches to us in the palace."
The expression of deep reverence that animated her face as she spoke
revealed to me a new phase in her character, and I felt strongly
attracted towards her. I nevertheless left the palace without further
conversation, but, on my way home, formed a vague resolution that I
would endeavor to become better acquainted with her, and attempt to win
her confidence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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