"If he agreed about that, then why was he getting himself ill over
it? I was going to heckle him, when he explained--and with what so
far unknown deference, in him, to one's bewilderment!--that he had
not been worrying about losing the money, nor so very much about the
now almost certain bankruptcy: 'Although that is really so serious
for me that I've got to joke about it or be as entirely silent as I
have been--and will be after to-night,' he excused his levity to warn
me. 'But it's actually the naked fact that these things can and have
happened to oneself that has got on my nerves--which must, I suppose,
be very tender nerves. Just the change of luck, you see, rather than
its particular results, however serious.' ...
"But before we went upstairs he took me by the shoulder with some
of his old air of authority, and warned me that he would be very
disappointed if I worried over what he had told me. 'Because, after
all, I didn't tell you about it because I wanted to--but simply so
that you shouldn't worry so much about my health now you know that it
isn't due to a weak heart or a damaged lung--only damaged luck, after
all! And I may, just possibly may, find a way out of everything in the
next few weeks.'
"'With Cascan Oil?' I asked, as though it were a magic oil.
"But I didn't gather anything from his smile except that it was one
of those smiles that never answer questions in the way you want them
answered. 'It's certainly very good oil!' he only said.
"'And will you promise to tell me as soon as you have found your way
out, as of course you will, you being you, luck or no luck?' I asked
him firmly. 'And will you also promise to drop some of this air of
resignation or whatever it is that has lately been growing on you?
please, Roger, for although it makes you very kissable at home, I'm
sure it's likely to make you quite "broke" in the great world--which
doesn't care how much your wife loves you so long as it can get your
money.'
"He promised to tell me--for I had fixed in my mind that as soon as he
came to me with never so little brighter news I would at once snatch
him away from London to some place like Tangiers, to mend his health
and let the deuce take his luck, which was a plague, good or bad. And
you know when he brought me news, at lunch-time two weeks later, the
day before that....
"He rang up from the City to ask me if I would be in for lunch; and it
was so unusual for him to come home for lunch that I quite ran wild
in putting you off, so that you developed a wonderful theory about my
having found a new young man from the back row of the Russian Ballet.
"Almost the first word he said when he came in was, 'Well, that's
finished.' But as he said it with almost a smile and quite
undramatically I didn't expect, as I 'registered' pleasure, to be
pulled up by:
"'I mean there are no more uncertainties to worry about, Iris. The rats
have got at everything.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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