"Oh, ever so slightly," he gently waived my question; then turned to
me, as though confidingly: "but just well enough to be terribly shocked
at the sort of death she chose for herself.... As aimless, foolish, and
certainly as useless as you like, she had after all lived a wonderful,
perhaps a beautiful life--only to die as any damned bankrupt might die
in a 15th floor-flat in a Manhattan block!"
The sudden bitterness in his voice made me look sharply at him, but he
was too quick for me, and retrieved himself with a frank and altogether
engaging smile which deprecated his involuntary--as he naïvely showed
it to have been--seriousness. By this time I had quite recovered from
my bad-tempered stupor, and was acutely interested. I just waited.
"Curiously enough," he said, after a short silence, "when I read about
her suicide in the paper the other day it was not so much about her
that I thought, as about an incident which arose from my acquaintance
with her, years ago.... But are you sure I am not being very tedious?"
"Each word you say is shortening this walk," I answered quickly; how
seldom can one dress the truth in purple and fine linen!
"Well, then," he went on genially, "in connection with Consuelo's
name came to my mind an incident in which an acquaintance, almost a
stranger, stood me in better stead than a friend has ever done. I have
never seen him since, I have never thanked him--nor cursed him, as I
will explain--for his startling help in that really cruel emergency.
But I can't give you the incident without its background; for standing
alone it means almost nothing, it is just a trick, one of destiny's
sleights of hand. It takes its colour from a, well, imperfect passion,
its background. And its background is Consuelo Carew, as I knew her
twenty years ago.
"I met her just after she had married my friend Tristram Carew. She may
have been, at the outside, twenty years old, then, but though there
was nothing of the precocious young minx about her, she was more fully
developed, more complete, than any other young woman of that age that I
am now likely to meet. The only thing that was clear about her was her
complexion. She wasn't what we mean by a 'girl' except in freshness,
colouring, and zest--and what an amazing, embracing zest for life that
was! She never lost it, she can't ever have lost it, it was her very
being. I almost believe that, if we but knew the secret, this last
impulsive stupidity of hers might somehow take on the splendour of an
enthusiasm--but for what, for what?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account