Artists -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Love stories; Rich people -- Fiction
"Two women--the only two women who have ever really been in my
life--form for me a standard below which I cannot fall,--one, my
mother, a sacred and ideal memory; the other, old Margery Graem, my
childhood's friend and nurse, now my housekeeper and general tender and
mender. Her faithful heart and constant remembrance help to keep me
true to the ideal of that sweet presence which faded from beside me
when I stood on the threshold of manhood. Margery lives at Castle
Gleneesh. When I return home, the sight which first meets my eyes as
the hall door opens is old Margery in her black satin apron, lawn
kerchief, and lavender ribbons. I always feel seven then, and I always
hug her. You, Miss Champion, don't like me when I feel seven; but
Margery does. Now, this is what I want you to realise. When I bring a
bride to Gleneesh and present her to Margery, the kind old eyes will
try to see nothing but good; the faithful old heart will yearn to love
and serve. And yet I shall know she knows the standard, just as I know
it; I shall know she remembers the ideal of gentle, tender, Christian
womanhood, just as I remember it; and I must not, I dare not, fall
short. Believe me, Miss Champion, more than once, when physical
attraction has been strong, and I have been tempted in the worship of
the outward loveliness to disregard or forget the essentials,--the
things which are unseen but eternal,--then, all unconscious of
exercising any such influence, old Margery's clear eyes look into mine,
old Margery's mittened hand seems to rest upon my coat sleeve, and the
voice which has guided me from infancy, says, in gentle astonishment:
`Is this your choice, Master Garthie, to fill my dear lady's place?' No
doubt, Miss Champion, it will seem almost absurd to you when you think
of our set and our sentiments, and the way we racket round that I
should sit here on the duchess's lawn and confess that I have been held
back from proposing marriage to the women I have most admired, because
of what would have been my old nurse's opinion of them! But you must
remember her opinion is formed by a memory, and that memory is the
memory of my dead mother. Moreover, Margery voices my best self, and
expresses my own judgment when it is not blinded by passion or warped
by my worship of the beautiful. Not that Margery would disapprove of
loveliness; in fact, she would approve of nothing else for me, I know
very well. But her penetration rapidly goes beneath the surface.
According to one of Paul's sublime paradoxes, she looks at the things
that are not seen. It seems queer that I can tell you all this, Miss
Champion, and really it is the first time I have actually formulated it
in my own mind. But I think it so extremely friendly of you to have
troubled to give me good advice in the matter."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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