Man-woman relationships -- England -- Fiction; Married people -- England -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
She hesitated long enough for me to judge her as a trifle surprised at
my being so ready--as if indeed she had rather hoped I wouldn't be;
which would have been an easy pretext to her to gain time. In fact, with
a face not quite like the brave face she had at each step hitherto shown
me, yet unlike in a fashion I should certainly not have been able to
define on the spot; with an expression, in short, that struck me as
taking refuge in a general reminder that not my convenience, but her
own, was in question, she replied: "Oh, no--but before it's too late. A
few minutes hence. Where shall you be?" she asked with a shade, as I
imagined, of awkwardness. She had looked about as for symptoms of
acceptance of the evening's end on the part of the ladies, but we could
both see our hostess otherwise occupied. "We don't go up quite yet. In
the morning," she added as with an afterthought, "I suppose you leave
early."
I debated. "I haven't thought. And you?"
She looked at me straighter now. "I haven't thought either." Then she
was silent, neither turning away nor coming to the point, as it seemed
to me she might have done, of telling me what she had in her head. I
even fancied that her momentary silence, combined with the way she faced
me--as if that might speak for her--was meant for an assurance that,
whatever train she should take in the morning, she would arrange that it
shouldn't be, as it had been the day before, the same as mine. I really
caught in her attitude a world of invidious reference to the little
journey we had already made together. She had sympathies, she had
proprieties that imposed themselves, and I was not to think that any
little journey was to be thought of again in those conditions. It came
over me that this might have been quite a matter discussed by her,
discussed and settled, with her interlocutor on the sofa. It came over
me that if, before our break-up for the night, I should happen also to
have a minute's talk with that interlocutor, I would equally get from it
the sense of an intention unfavourable to our departing in the same
group. And I wondered if this, in that case, wouldn't affect me as
marking a change back to Long's old manner--a forfeiture of the
conditions, whatever view might be taken of them, that had made him, at
Paddington, suddenly show himself as so possible and so pleasant. If
_he_ "changed back," wouldn't Grace Brissenden change by the same law?
And if Grace Brissenden did, wouldn't her husband? Wouldn't the miracle
take the form of the rejuvenation of that husband? Would it, still by
the same token, take the form of _her_ becoming very old, becoming if
not as old as her husband, at least as old, as one might say, as
herself? Would it take the form of her becoming dreadfully plain--plain
with the plainness of mere stout maturity and artificial preservation?
And if it took this form for the others, which would it take for May
Server? Would she, at a bound as marked as theirs, recover her presence
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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