Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
Her next impulse was to warn Winona of her insecurity: for she had read
Gilday without illusions, and if five months ago she had perceived what
he would be to-day, she saw now the man of to-morrow, undisturbed by
sentiment or weakness, avid of experience and sensation, an egoist soon
evolved, who would never deviate from his own desires from any feeling
of remorse or pity. She felt that his attachment could not last. She
must warn Winona, open her eyes, prepare her for the worst! She went
from the lunch-room with this one thought in mind. Only, as the
interview would be difficult, and she did not quite yet know what to
counsel, she began to wander aimlessly through the streets, gusty with
the rage of March.
The figure of Winona haunted her, rising like an accusing specter
against her conscience. If only she had understood in time! She saw her
always weak and irresolute, obstinately shrugging her shoulders, her
brow clouded over--rebellious and foredoomed. Again she revolted at the
different destinies of the sexes, with a hot indignant anger. Why should
the woman be cut off from all friendships, and not the man? Would it
make any difference to Gilday's friends, or change his position in the
slightest? That was the injustice of it all. And who was unjust? Her own
sex!
"No! She needs a friend more than ever!" she said resolutely. "I'll go
to her now--this instant!"
All at once, by one of the perversities of the city, as, come to the
thoroughfare of Fifth Avenue, she was halted and crowded against the
curb, a great automobile came swinging about the corner, with Gilday at
the wheel, Adèle Vickers and two men behind, and in front, laughing and
elegant, Winona Horning. They flashed by without even seeing her,
standing on the sidewalk, elbowed by the common crowd. She had but a
glimpse of the girl who had shared her wall in Miss Pim's
boarding-house; but the glimpse she had caught of the butterfly that had
emerged from the grub tore down her last illusions. She it was who was
left standing, depressed, struggling against the buffeting busy crowd,
feeling all at once deserted and shoddy.
Until now she had never experienced the slightest temptation in regard
to Sassoon. She had never deceived herself on that point, for she had a
horror of ugliness, and it was not money, but romance, which she wished
to force from life in this ardent fleeting period of her youth. Sassoon
awoke, not her cupidity, but her curiosity. It was an unexplored world,
and she was anxious to perceive its proportions. What would he do under
strong provocation, and what, at least, would it mean to her if she were
differently inclined? Besides, his docile attitude had disarmed her
prudence: she believed in her control over him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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