Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
Massingale she could not place. She comprehended the others, even the
Comte de Joncy, whom she had left with a feeling of defrauded
expectation. But Massingale she did not comprehend, nor did she see him
quite clearly. Why was he there? To observe simply, with that tolerant
baffling smile of his? What did he want in life? Of her? He had been
interested; he had even tried to arouse her own curiosity. She was
certain that the effort had been conscious. Then there had come a
change--a quiet defensive turn to impersonality. Tactics, or what?
What impression had she left? Would he call, or pass on? She did not
understand him at all; yet he excited her strangely. She had a feeling
that he would be too strong for her. She had felt in him, each time his
glance lay in hers, the reading eye that saw through her, knew
beforehand what was turning in her runaway imagination, and that before
him her tricks would not avail.
Then she ceased to remember individuals, lost in a confused, satisfied
feeling of an experience. It seemed to her as if she had taken a great
step--that opportunity had strangely served her, that she had at last
entered a world which was worthy of her curiosity.
She had met few real men. She had played with idlers, boys of twenty or
boys of forty, interested in nothing but an indolent floating voyage
through life. For the first time, she had come into contact with a new
type, felt the shock of masculine vitality. Whatever their cynical ideas
of conduct, she felt a difference here. They were men of power, with an
object, who did not fill their days with trifling, but who sought
pleasure to fling off for a moment the obsession of ambitions, to relax
from the tyranny of effort, or to win back a new strength in a moment of
discouragement. Perhaps if she continued her career she might turn them
into friends--loyal friends. It would be difficult but very useful. The
men she met usually, at first, misunderstood her.
"Perhaps one of them will change my whole life! Why not? I have a
feeling--" she said solemnly to herself, nodding and biting her little
under lip.
The truth was, she felt the same after every encounter, dramatizing each
man, and flinging herself romantically on a sea of her imagining. But
to-day it was a little different. The feeling was more profound, calmer,
more penetrating. She felt, indeed, under the influence of a new
emotion, a restlessness in the air, an unease in the crowded streets.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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