traces on heart and brain and body. It was graven on the white brow; it
was painted in the deep eyes, with their unfathomable look of doubt; it
strengthened the fibres of the strong brain with the greater power which
great suffering brings to intelligence of a high order; and alas!
saddest of all, it chilled the hot heart-blood and left it cooler and
more sluggish in its flow. Sorrowful was the man for the sorrow in the
world, but pity for the grief of those about him was not so strong in
him as it had been before. The bitterness which follows the spoiling of
the rose-sweetness of love was happily modified by the broad
humanitarian character of the man. It failed to make him bitter towards
the world for its treatment of himself. He accepted manfully the
knockdown blow which fate had dealt him; and if he mourned it was in
secret,--he burdened no other soul with his misery. But as it was a
woman who had darkened his life and drawn the veil of grief about his
young soul, the whole rage of grief and bitterness which wore his heart
went out toward her sex. As he had loved all women for her sweet sake,
so now did he distrust them all because she had proved false. Evil to
him appeared abstractly as a feminine element in the world; and the
great qualities of nobility, abnegation, and heroism in his eyes were
masculine attributes only. Too chivalrous by nature to think of himself
as in opposition to the gentler sex, his position was in point of fact
antagonistic to them. He was courteous in their company, but he always
avoided it. In deed, as in word, he treated them with reverence,
speaking no lightlier of them behind their backs than to their faces.
The bitterness never broke the barriers of his vexed heart in noxious
word or jest, but it lay there always embittering his life. He had
finally ceased to remember his crushed hopes and spoiled youth; and then
had succeeded a long time wherein he seemed to feel not at all. There
was left him always his pious devotion to his mother, touching in its
pathetic constancy, as to the one creature given him to love. For the
gentle Mrs. Deering, whose face recalled that of his only living parent,
he felt a real sentiment of friendship. Barbara, with her sweet,
wholesome nature, he esteemed more highly than other young women; but
since his intimacy with the family he had always emphasized his regard
for the son and mother of the house; and Barbara had felt the difference
in his voice when he addressed her. It grew colder, and his manner
became formal, if by chance they were thrown together alone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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