She let her body lean sideways till she was pressed against him. "Oh, I am sure my uncle will go. He is the cardinal camerlengo, after all. As for me, I would go if I thought I would see you there." His head drew down toward hers. "Do you care for me that much?" "I have never known love like this, Simon. My husband was kind to me, and I was sorry when he died, but the way I feel about you is different. I think I will die if I do not know when I can see you again." Joy lit up his thin face, and she despised herself. "I will find you, Sophia. I will be gone for months. But I will ride like the wind, and when I come back it will be to Perugia." _He must be going to France!_ He was traveling with but one man, so as to go faster. The Tartars had nearly been killed in the Filippeschi uprising, but he would be leaving them for _months_. Only one thing could be more important to Simon than the lives of the two Tartars, and that was what the Tartars represented. The pope must be offering to approve the alliance. Simon must be carrying the message. _When I tell David about this, he will ride after Simon and kill him._ Her thoughts began to race. Even if Simon were stopped, was it not still too late to keep the Franks and the Tartars from joining forces? No, probably not, because the pope was dying. If this alliance were not settled now, the talking and deciding would have to begin all over again, with a new pope. Could she seduce Simon into abandoning his mission altogether, running off with her? No, he would never betray so great a trust, not even for love of her. "I swear to you, I will find you, I will see you again, Sophia," he was saying. "Believe me." _You will not live long enough._ "I do believe you, Simon." Her loathing for herself grew stronger. Now his arms were around her, and he was pressing her back, away from the tree trunk and down onto the soft bed of pine needles. His open mouth was against hers, his lips devouring hers. His hands caressed her shoulders and her back, moving ceaselessly. One hand slid around and held her breast, and she heard his little indrawn breath of pleasure. It must feel good to him, she thought. It felt good to be touched there, and she pushed back against his hand. She felt her body relax and grow warm. It had been so long--nearly a year--since a man had held her in his arms. _I need this as much as any man does. Men can go to whores, but where can I go?_ She loved the feel of his strong arms around her as she lay beside him. He moved so that his whole length was pressed against her, and now he did not seem any taller than she was. She felt the hardness at his groin that he pressed against her leg, and she felt an answering heat within herself. _No!_ _I cannot let this man make love to me and then send David after him to kill him. I cannot, I cannot. I would hate myself forever._