The Satyricon of Petronius ArbiterPetronius Arbiter
General
The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter
Petronius Arbiter
Rome -- Fiction; Satire, Latin -- Translations into English
"Gentlemen," said he, "if you have designs of trading, you must go
another way; but if you're of the admir'd sort of men, that have the
thriving qualifications of lying and cheating, you're in the direct
path to business; for in this city no learning flourisheth, eloquence
has not a room here; temperance, good manners, nor any virtue can meet
a reward; assure your selves of finding but two sorts of men, and they
are the cheated, and those that cheat. A father takes no care of his
children, because the having of heirs is such a mark of infamy, that
he who is known in that circumstance, dares not appear at any publick
game or show, is deny'd all publick priviledges, and only herds among
those that all men piss upon. But single men, who have no tyes of
nature that oblige the disposal of their wealth, are caress'd by all,
and have the greatest honours confer'd on 'em; they are the only
valorous, the only brave; nay, and only innocent too. You're going to
a city," added he, "like a field in a plague-time, where you can
observe nothing but one man devouring another, as crows dead
carcasses."
The prudent Eumolpus, as a thing so surprizingly new, began to be
thoughtful, and confest that way to riches did not displease him. I
believ'd it the effect of a poetick gaiety, that had not left his
years. When, "I wish," continued he, "I cou'd maintain a greater
figure, as well in habit as attendants, 'twou'd give a better colour
to my pretences: By Hercules, I'd throw by the wallet, and soon
advance all our fortunes."
Promising therefore to supply his wants, "we have with us," said I,
"the sacred vest of Isis, and all the booty we made at Lycurgus's
village; and you have given me such hopes, Eumolpus," added I, "that
were the goddess her self in my power, I'd pawn her for money to carry
on the design."
Upon which, said Eumolpus, "why delay we the bringing of our hands in
use? and if you like the proposal let me be called your master."
None e're condemned a project that was no charge to him; therefore to
be true to his interests, we engag'd in an oath before we wou'd
discover the cheat to suffer ten thousand racks; and thus like
free-born gladiators selling our liberty, we religiously devoted both
soul and body to our new master.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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