The Satyricon — Volume 05: Crotona Affairs — John Shaqi
The Satyricon — Volume 05: Crotona AffairsPetronius Arbiter
General
The Satyricon — Volume 05: Crotona Affairs
Petronius Arbiter
Rome -- Fiction; Satire, Latin -- Translations into English
Were I a wanton, I should complain of my disappointment, but as it
is I am beholden to your impotence, for by it I dallied the longer
in the shadow of pleasure. Still, I would like to know how you are
and whether you got home upon your own legs, for the doctors say
that one cannot walk without nerves! Young man, I advise you to
beware of paralysis for I never in my life saw a patient in such
great danger; you're as good as dead, I'm sure! What if the same
numbness should attack your hands and knees? You would have to send
for the funeral trumpeters! Still, even if I have been affronted,
I will not begrudge a prescription to one as sick as you! Ask Giton
if you would like to recover. I am sure you will get back your
strength if you will sleep without your "brother" for three nights.
So far as I am concerned, I am not in the least alarmed about
finding someone to whom I shall be as pleasing as I was to you; my
mirror and my reputation do not lie.
Farewell (if you can).
"Such things will happen," said Chrysis, when she saw that I had read
through the entire inditement, "and especially in this city, where the
women can lure the moon from the sky! But we'll find a cure for your
trouble. Just return a diplomatic answer to my mistress and restore her
self-esteem by frank courtesy for, truth to tell, she has never been
herself from the minute she received that affront." I gladly followed
the maid's advice and wrote upon the tablets as follows:
CHAPTER THE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTIETH.
POLYAENOS TO CIRCE--GREETING.
Dear lady, I confess that I have often given cause for offense, for
I am only a man, and a young one, too, but I never committed a
deadly crime until today! You have my confession of guilt, I
deserve any punishment you may see fit to prescribe. I betrayed a
trust, I murdered a man, I violated a temple: demand my punishment
for these crimes. Should it be your pleasure to slay me I will come
to you with my sword; if you are content with a flogging I will run
naked to my mistress; only bear in mind that it was not myself but
my tools that failed me. I was a soldier, and ready, but I had no
arms. What threw me into such disorder I do not know, perhaps my
imagination outran my lagging body, by aspiring to too much it is
likely that I spent my pleasure in delay; I cannot imagine what the
trouble was. You bid me beware of paralysis; as if a disease which
prevented my enjoying you could grow worse! But my apology amounts
briefly to this; if you will grant me an opportunity of repairing my
fault, I will give you satisfaction.
Farewell
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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