The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
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The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
[_Confidentially to Peggy._] Er--um--my dear Miss Griffin, did you
receive a short but ample apology from me this afternoon--addressed, "To
the young lady who was shaken"?
PEGGY.
Yes; and oh! I shall always prize it!
RANKLING.
No, no, don't! You haven't bothered your Uncle about it, have you, dear?
PEGGY.
No--not yet.
RANKLING.
I shouldn't, then, I shouldn't. He seems worried enough. Shall I take
you and your sisters to see the pantomime?
PEGGY.
Yes--please.
RANKLING.
Then you'd better give me back that apology.
PEGGY.
Oh, no--you'd use it again.
RANKLING.
One--two--three. Mr. Mallory says you have four nieces with you, Mr.
Queckett.
QUECKETT.
Ah, but Jack's been dining, you know. I beg your pardon, Jack.
PEGGY.
Oh, yes, there is one more. Mrs.--Mrs.--Parkinson is here with her
husband.
QUECKETT.
H'm! my brother Tankerville's eldest girl.
RANKLING.
I've never heard of your brother Tankerville!
QUECKETT.
No--he's Deputy Inspector of Prisons in British Guiana. Quiet, retiring
chap.
PEGGY.
I'll go and fetch them. [_She runs out._]
QUECKETT.
[_To Rankling._] To make a clean breast of it, the girls have been
preparing a little festival to-night in honor of Mr. and Mrs.--Mr. and
Mrs.--the name Peggy mentioned. My niece was married, very quietly,
some weeks ago to a charming young fellow--a charming young fellow--and
these foolish children insist on cutting a wedding-cake and all that
sort of nonsense. I didn't want to disturb you with their chatter--
RANKLING.
You forget, Queckett, you are speaking to a father.
QUECKETT.
No--I don't, indeed. [_Peggy re-enters, followed by Reginald and
Dinah._]
PEGGY.
My cousin and Mr. Parkinson.
RANKLING.
How do you--[_Staring._] What an extraordinary likeness to my brother
Ned! [_Taking her hand slowly, still looking at her._] And how do you
do?
DINAH.
[_Palpitating._] Thank you, I am very well.
RANKLING.
Do you know, your voice is exceedingly like my sister Rachel's!
REGINALD.
[_Thrusting himself between Dinah and Rankling._] I am sorry to
differ--I think my wife resembles no one but herself.
RANKLING.
[_Hotly _] I beg your pardon, sir.
REGINALD.
[_Hotly_] Pray, don't.
RANKLING.
[_To himself _] That's not a charming young fellow!
PEGGY.
[_Presenting Mallory to Dinah._] Mr. Mallory.
MALLORY.
[_Gallantly, to Dinah._] I am delighted to have the opportunity of
congratulating my old friend's niece upon her recent marriage. [_Taking
her hand._] I think myself especially fortunate in being present
on such--
REGINALD.
[_Thrusting himself between Dinah and Mallory, and giving Dinah his
arm._] How do you do, sir?
MALLORY.
Mr. Mallory--Mr. Parkinson. [_ They bow abruptly, glaring at each
other._]
MALLORY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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