The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
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The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
Yes--but we can't truckle to a pale and stumpy boy, you know.
PEGGY.
We can--we've got to. If Dinah's husband is ever to enter this house
we must crouch before the instrument who opens the door--however short,
however pasty.
DINAH.
[_Calling outside._] Are you there, girls?
PEGGY.
[_Jumping and clapping her hands._] Here's Dinah!
ERMYNTRUDE AND GWENDOLINE.
[_Calling._] Dinah! [_They run up to the door to receive and embrace
Dinah, who enters through the hall. Dinah is an exceedingly pretty and
simple-looking girl of about sixteen._]
GWENDOLINE.
We've been waiting for you, Dinah.
PEGGY.
And now you're going to keep your promise to us, ain't you?
DINAH.
My promise?
PEGGY.
To tell us all about it from beginning to end.
DINAH.
[_Bashfully._] Oh, I can't--I don't like to.
PEGGY.
You must; we've only heard your story in bits.
DINAH.
But where's Miss Dyott?
PEGGY.
Out--out--out.
DINAH.
And where is _he_--Miss Dyott's husband?
PEGGY.
What--the Mystery? [_Skipping across to the left-hand door, and, going
down on her knees, peering through the keyhole._] It's all right. One
o'clock in the day, and he's not down yet--the imp! I'd cold sponge him
if I were Miss Dyott. Places, young ladies. [_Ermyntrude sits with Dinah
on the sofa, Gwendoline being at Dinah's feet. Peggy perches on the edge
of the table with her feet on a chair._] H'm! Now then, Mrs. --------
what's your name, Dinah?
DINAH.
[_Drooping her eyelids._] Paulover--Mrs. Reginald Paulover.
PEGGY.
Attention for Mrs. Paulover's narrative. Chapter One.
DINAH.
Well, dears, I met him at a party--at Mrs. St. Dunstan's in the Cromwell
Road. He was presented to Mamma and me by Major Padgate.
PEGGY.
Vote of thanks to Major Padgate; I wish _we_ knew him, young ladies.
Well?
DINAH.
I bowed, of course, and then Mr. Paulover--Mr. Paulover asked me whether
I didn't think the evening was rather warm.
PEGGY.
He soon began to rattle on, then. It was his conversation that attracted
you, I suppose?
DINAH.
Oh no, love came very gradually. We were introduced at about ten
o'clock, and I didn't feel really drawn to him till long after eleven.
The next day, being Ma's "At home" day, Major Padgate brought him to
tea.
PEGGY.
Young ladies, what is your opinion of Major Padgate?
ERMYNTRUDE.
I think he must be awfully considerate.
DINAH.
He's not--he called my Reginald a "young shaver."
PEGGY.
That's contemptible enough. How old is your Reginald?
DINAH.
He is much my senior--he was seventeen in November. Well, the following
week Reginald proposed to me in the conservatory. He spoke very sensibly
about settling down, and how we were not growing younger; and how he'd
seen a house in Park Lane which wasn't to let, but which very likely
would be to let some day. And then we went into the drawing-room and
told Mamma.
PEGGY, ERMYNTRUDE, _AND_ GWENDOLINE.
Well, well? [_Breaking down and putting her handkerchief to her eyes._]
Oh, I shall never forget the scene! I never shall.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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