It is related of a famous English clergyman that when presiding at a meeting where the necessity of wood-paving a street in his parish was under discussion he became greatly disgusted at the want of intelligence displayed by many of those present. Finally, unable to control the annoyance which a more than usually frivolous objection occasioned him, he said: "Gentlemen, do not let us discuss the matter further. You have only to put your heads together and the thing is done at once." Lamb's Unkind Thrust. Charles Lamb, than whom no gentler or kinder-hearted wit ever breathed, at times found it impossible to restrain himself from the personal; as, for instance, when he covered a friend with shame at a whist-party by blurting out: "Gad, James, if--if dirt were t-t-trumps, what a hand you would have!" A Weighty Politician. A personal _bon mot_, perpetrated at the expense of the late Sir William Harcourt, is harmless enough: "You must admit that he is a most weighty politician," insisted one of his admirers. "A weighty politician!" said an irreverent one. "I should think so! When he moves to the east the west tips up." Religiously Personal. "Sir," said a little blustering man to a religious opponent--"I say, sir, do you know to what sect I belong?" "Well, I don't exactly know," was the answer, "but to judge from your make, shape, and size, I should say you belong to a class called the in-sect." A Beggar's Benison. An Irish beggarwoman, following a gentleman who had had the misfortune to lose his nose, kept exclaiming: "Heaven preserve your honor's eyesight!" The gentleman was at last annoyed at her importunity, and said: "Why do you wish my eyesight to be preserved? Nothing ails my eyesight, nor is likely to." "No, your honor," said the Irishwoman, "but it will be a sad thing if it does, for you will have nothing to rest your spectacles upon." Hard Hit by Napoleon. When Napoleon was only an officer of artillery a Prussian officer said in his presence, with much pride: "My countrymen fight only for glory, but Frenchmen for money." "You are right," replied Napoleon; "each of them fights for what he is most in want of." A Triumph for Billingsgate. The Rev. Matthew Wilkes, a celebrated London preacher, was caught in a shower in the famous Billingsgate Market, where the profanity of the women who sell fish there is proverbial. As he stopped under a shed among them, he felt called upon to at least give his testimony against their wickedness. "Don't you think," said he, speaking with the greatest deliberation and solemnity, "I shall appear as a swift witness against you in the day of judgment?" "I presume so," said one, "for the biggest rogue always turns state's evidence." David vs. Goliath. Lord Roberts once found himself among new friends in a London club. There was a very tall man present, who, evidently believing himself to shine as a wit, seized every opportunity of raising a laugh at other people's expense.