To effect every desirable purpose, a gentle _diaphoresis_ must be supported, to prevent obstructions and promote the necessary excretions; to procure which, you must entreat most earnestly an implicit obedience to your directions, which from a variety of _unpleasant symptoms_ becomes indispensible. To carry which point in a still greater degree, renew, at every visit, your attentions to the _nurse_ (who in your absence is a vortex of knowledge, in your presence all obedience) her approbation of your conduct, and good opinion of your practice must be obtained _at any price_; it becomes with you a consideration of greater magnitude than your patient’s recovery; for should _death_ no longer permit _her_ presence in the scene of sublunary events, you lose _one patient only_; but with the good opinion and recommendation of the _nurse_, vanishes hundreds of patients _in embryo_, to be brought forth by the influence of her exaggerated reports of your incredible abilities. The nurse once secured and attached to your interest, becomes an admirable instrument for the promotion of all your designs, she embraces every opportunity to strengthen your directions, and urges (as you have done) the continuation of medicine, “till, with the blessing of God, her mistress is quite set up and upon her legs again.” A proper reflection upon these subjects will convince you (even in the infancy of your embarkation) that a _midwifery case_ in a _good_ family is no _bad_ thing, and made the most of, with the occasional aid of perpetual _cardiacs_,—_balsamics_,—_carminatives_, and _anodynes_, to ease and “quiet the child,” every time it _coughs, or belches_, constitutes a harvest of industry and political necessity, that the world in general is very little acquainted with. Previous to the closing of the curtain, you have still an additional chance for more depredations upon the unfortunate husband; should _stagnant_ milk occasion a _coagulum_ in the _lacteals_, constituting a _turgency_ of the breasts, threatening a formation of matter, _suppuration_ becomes almost unavoidable, and you promote it accordingly; this leads to _certain operation_, daily dressings, &c. all tend to encrease your interest, and give you the enjoyment of a temporary monopoly in the joint practice of _midwifery_, _surgery_, and _physic_. TO THE APOTHECARY. The varieties of your past, as well as the personal requisites for your future destination, are of such a pantomimic and party-coloured complexion, that I cannot proceed to a recital so truly risible, without first offering you, in the lines of Woty, a predominant trait in my _own character_, “I love to laugh, though Care stand frowning bye, And pale Misfortune rolls her meagre eye.”