You have nobly and skilfully slipped your neck out of the collar, and left all the credit of _killing_ (as you really ought to do) to your superior, whose _diploma_ entitles him to the preference; and, _vice versa_, should you perceive the patient and family become dupes to your affected sincerity, and that you are daily raising yourself in their estimation, erect a structure of professional applause upon the basis of their _credulity_; insinuate every possible degree of self praise, and set the advice of a physician in the most contemptible point of view.—Affect unlimited attachment to the interest of your patient, and say, “you would recommend much better advice than your own, if you could do it with a conscientious consistency; but it had ever been an opinion of yours (which was still unaltered) if the apothecary could not plunder a family _sufficiently_, the better method would be to adopt _a consultation_, when it might be done to a _certainty_.” This open manner of dealing instantly enhances you in the estimation of patient and friends, and you will consequently stand so high in opinion that you may proceed deliberately in your _spoils_ without interruption, for where there are no _daily fees_ (swallowed up in the _vortex_ of the college) your more trifling depredations will not be considered as matters of medical magnitude or imposition. In all kinds of inferior practice render every look, every thought and action, subservient to your general intent of personal rank and pecuniary consequence; it must be your particular study to inculcate every idea in the lower class, of your great penetration and abilities; by your minute investigations, cross-examinations, and applicable nods of significance (implying the most extensive knowledge) you will discover remote symptoms, that once explained to the complaining patient, will give them reason to believe (which they very readily do) you are a supernatural agent; and one _fool_ of _this denomination_, who firmly believes you know the state of his health by the _wrinkles_ in his _forehead_, or the _cloud_ in his _urine_, will soon infect a whole county with the certainty of your infallible qualifications. This opinion once founded, the effect is absolutely incredible, an instance of which may be found in various parts of England, but more particularly in a very large and populous town, not forty miles west of the metropolis, where _fools_ from every part of the county are constantly driving (their pockets laden with _chamber-lye_) to a famous inspector of _urinals_, vulgarly denominated a _piss-pot doctor_, who, to magnify the report of his incredible skill and penetration, has adopted a certain method to impose upon the minds of the multitude, and prey upon the little pecuniary collections they can make, to become the dupes of _his villainy_ and their own _infatuation_.