The day was filled with miserable variety. I had taken my dried clothes
down from the galley the night before, and the first thing I did was to
exchange the cook’s garments for them. I looked for my purse. In
addition to some small change (and I have a good memory for such things),
it had contained one hundred and eighty-five dollars in gold and paper.
The purse I found, but its contents, with the exception of the small
silver, had been abstracted. I spoke to the cook about it, when I went
on deck to take up my duties in the galley, and though I had looked
forward to a surly answer, I had not expected the belligerent harangue
that I received.
“Look ’ere, ’Ump,” he began, a malicious light in his eyes and a snarl in
his throat; “d’ye want yer nose punched? If you think I’m a thief, just
keep it to yerself, or you’ll find ’ow bloody well mistyken you are.
Strike me blind if this ayn’t gratitude for yer! ’Ere you come, a pore
mis’rable specimen of ’uman scum, an’ I tykes yer into my galley an’
treats yer ’ansom, an’ this is wot I get for it. Nex’ time you can go to
’ell, say I, an’ I’ve a good mind to give you what-for anyw’y.”
So saying, he put up his fists and started for me. To my shame be it, I
cowered away from the blow and ran out the galley door. What else was I
to do? Force, nothing but force, obtained on this brute-ship. Moral
suasion was a thing unknown. Picture it to yourself: a man of ordinary
stature, slender of build, and with weak, undeveloped muscles, who has
lived a peaceful, placid life, and is unused to violence of any sort—what
could such a man possibly do? There was no more reason that I should
stand and face these human beasts than that I should stand and face an
infuriated bull.
So I thought it out at the time, feeling the need for vindication and
desiring to be at peace with my conscience. But this vindication did not
satisfy. Nor, to this day can I permit my manhood to look back upon
those events and feel entirely exonerated. The situation was something
that really exceeded rational formulas for conduct and demanded more than
the cold conclusions of reason. When viewed in the light of formal
logic, there is not one thing of which to be ashamed; but nevertheless a
shame rises within me at the recollection, and in the pride of my manhood
I feel that my manhood has in unaccountable ways been smirched and
sullied.
All of which is neither here nor there. The speed with which I ran from
the galley caused excruciating pain in my knee, and I sank down
helplessly at the break of the poop. But the Cockney had not pursued me.
“Look at ’im run! Look at ’im run!” I could hear him crying. “An’ with
a gyme leg at that! Come on back, you pore little mamma’s darling. I
won’t ’it yer; no, I won’t.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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