"I'll do nothing so ridiculous! These bulletins have undoubtedly been
influenced by the popular excitement. There has possibly been a little
obscurity in the atmosphere--cirrus clouds, or something--and the
observers have imagined the rest. I'm not going to insult science by
encouraging the proceedings of a mountebank like Cosmo Versál. What
we've got to do is to prepare a dispatch for the press reassuring the
populace and throwing the weight of this institution on the side of
common sense and public tranquillity. Let the secretary indite such a
dispatch, and then we'll edit it and send it out."
Professor Pludder, naturally dictatorial, was sometimes a little
overbearing, but being a man of great ability, and universally respected
for his high rank in the scientific world, his colleagues usually bowed
to his decisions. On this occasion his force of character sufficed to
silence the doubters, and when the statement intended for the press had
received its final touches it contained no hint of the seeds of discord
that Cosmo Versál had sown among America's foremost savants. The next
morning it appeared in all the newspapers as follows:
_Official Statement from the Carnegie Institution_
In consequence of the popular excitement caused by the
sensational utterance of a notorious pretender to scientific
knowledge in New York, the council of this institution
authorizes the statement that it has examined the alleged
grounds on which the prediction of a great flood, to be caused
by a nebula encountering the earth, is based, and finds, as all
real men of science knew beforehand, that the entire matter is
simply a canard.
The nebulae are not composed of water; if they were composed of
water they could not cause a flood on the earth; the report that
some strange, misty object is visible in the starry heavens is
based on a misapprehension; and finally, the so-called
calculations of the author of this inexcusable hoax are baseless
and totally devoid of validity.
The public is earnestly advised to pay no further attention to
the matter. If there were any danger to the earth--and such a
thing is not to be seriously considered--astronomers would know
it long in advance, and would give due and official warning.
Unfortunately for the popular effect of this pronouncement, on the very
morning when it appeared in print, thirty thousand people were crowded
around the old aviation field at Mineola, excitedly watching Cosmo
Versál, with five hundred workmen, laying the foundations of a huge
platform, while about the field were stretched sheets of canvas
displaying the words:
THE ARK OF SAFETY
Earnest Inspection Invited by All
Attendants will Furnish Gratis Plans for Similar
Constructions
Small Arks Can Be Built for Families
Act While There Is Yet Time
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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