"She lived such a different life from anything you can possibly
imagine. It's--well--it's like being in another world. Women on the
stage think nothing of--of--the free-and-easy sort of thing. She used
to come to my rooms to tea. She used to bring her friends in after the
theatre--after rehearsals." He leaned over as if to take her hand,
then drew his own away again. "I--I ask you to come now
because--because I thought you would take away all the memories I want
to forget. Can't you ever forget too? Can't you ever try and forgive
me? It's--it's--awful to think that we may have to live together all
our lives and that you'll never look at me again as you used to--never
be glad to see me, never want me to touch you." His voice broke; he
bit his lip till it bled.
Christine clasped her hands hard in her lap.
"It was awful to me too--once," she said dully. "Awful to know that
you didn't love me when I was so sure that you did. But I've got over
it. I suppose you will too, some day, even if you think it hurts very
much just now. I dare say we shall be quite happy together in our own
way some day. Lots of married people are--quite happy together, and
don't love each other at all."
She dismissed him when they reached the hotel. She went up to her room
and cried.
She did not know why she was crying; she only knew that she felt lonely
and unhappy. She would have given the world just then for someone to
come in and put kind arms round her. She would have given the world to
know that there was someone to whom she really mattered, really counted.
Jimmy only wanted her because he realised that she no longer wanted
him. The wedding ring of which she had been so proud was now an
unwelcome fetter of which she would never again be free.
They went to the theatre in the evening. Jimmy had take great pains to
make himself smart; it was almost pathetic the efforts he made to be
bright and entertaining. He told her that he had sent a note to
Sangster to meet them afterwards for supper. It gave him a sharp pang
of jealousy to notice how Christine's eyes brightened.
"I am so glad," she said. "I like him so much."
She was almost friendly to him after that. Once or twice he made her
laugh.
He was very careful to keep always to impersonal subjects. He behaved
just as if they were good friends out for an evening of enjoyment.
When they left the theatre Christine looked brighter than he had seen
her for weeks. Jimmy was profoundly grateful. He was delighted that
Sangster should see her with that little flush in her cheeks. She did
not look so very unhappy, he told himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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