This etext was prepared by Les Bowler from the 1899 Hurst and Blackett edition. [Picture: Book cover] The Second Thoughts of An Idle Fellow * * * * * BY JEROME K. JEROME AUTHOR OF ‘THREE MEN IN A BOAT,’ ‘IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW,’ ‘STAGELAND,’ ‘JOHN INGERFIELD,’ ETC. * * * * * LONDON HURST AND BLACKETT, LIMITED 13, GREAT MARLBOROUGH STREET 1899 _All rights reserved_ * * * * * First printing published August 17, 1898. Second printing published September 2, 1898. Third printing published November 1, 1898. Fourth printing published January 1, 1899. * * * * * RICHARD CLAY & SONS, LIMITED, LONDON & BUNGAY. * * * * * CONTENTS PAGE ON THE ART OF MAKING UP ONE’S MIND 1 ON THE DISADVANTAGE OF NOT GETTING WHAT ONE WANTS 29 ON THE EXCEPTIONAL MERIT ATTACHING TO THE THINGS WE MEANT 53 TO DO ON THE PREPARATION AND EMPLOYMENT OF LOVE PHILTRES 91 ON THE DELIGHTS AND BENEFITS OF SLAVERY 119 ON THE CARE AND MANAGEMENT OF WOMEN 149 ON THE MINDING OF OTHER PEOPLE’S BUSINESS 175 ON THE TIME WASTED IN LOOKING BEFORE ONE LEAPS 215 ON THE NOBILITY OF OURSELVES 245 ON THE MOTHERLINESS OF MAN 271 ON THE INADVISABILITY OF FOLLOWING ADVICE 301 ON THE PLAYING OF MARCHES AT THE FUNERALS OF MARIONETTES 335 ON THE ART OF MAKING UP ONE’S MIND “NOW, which would you advise, dear? You see, with the red I shan’t be able to wear my magenta hat.” “Well then, why not have the grey?” “Yes—yes, I think the grey will be _more useful_.” “It’s a good material.” “Yes, and it’s a _pretty_ grey. You know what I mean, dear; not a _common_ grey. Of course grey is always an _uninteresting_ colour.” “It’s quiet.” “And then again, what I feel about the red is that it is so warm-looking. Red makes you _feel_ warm even when you’re _not_ warm. You know what I mean, dear!” “Well then, why not have the red? It suits you—red.” “No; do you really think so?” “Well, when you’ve got a colour, I mean, of course!” “Yes, that is the drawback to red. No, I think, on the whole, the grey is _safer_.” “Then you will take the grey, madam?”