The Second Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
The sparrow-hawk fights the hen: he seeking food for his brood, she
defending hers with her life. The spider sucks the fly to feed its
myriad young; the cat tortures the mouse to give its still throbbing
carcase to her kittens, and man wrongs man for children’s sake. Perhaps
when the riot of the world reaches us whole, not broken, we shall learn
it is a harmony, each jangling discord fallen into its place around the
central theme, Motherhood.
ON THE INADVISABILITY OF FOLLOWING ADVICE
I WAS pacing the Euston platform late one winter’s night, waiting for the
last train to Watford, when I noticed a man cursing an automatic machine.
Twice he shook his fist at it. I expected every moment to see him strike
it. Naturally curious, I drew near softly. I wanted to catch what he
was saying. However, he heard my approaching footsteps, and turned on
me. “Are you the man,” said he, “who was here just now?”
“Just where?” I replied. I had been pacing up and down the platform for
about five minutes.
“Why here, where we are standing,” he snapped out. “Where do you think
‘here’ is—over there?” He seemed irritable.
“I may have passed this spot in the course of my peregrinations, if that
is what you mean,” I replied. I spoke with studied politeness; my idea
was to rebuke his rudeness.
“I mean,” he answered, “are you the man that spoke to me, just a minute
ago?”
“I am not that man,” I said; “good-night.”
“Are you sure?” he persisted.
“One is not likely to forget talking to you,” I retorted.
His tone had been most offensive. “I beg your pardon,” he replied
grudgingly. “I thought you looked like the man who spoke to me a minute
or so ago.”
I felt mollified; he was the only other man on the platform, and I had a
quarter of an hour to wait. “No, it certainly wasn’t me,” I returned
genially, but ungrammatically. “Why, did you want him?”
“Yes, I did,” he answered. “I put a penny in the slot here,” he
continued, feeling apparently the need of unburdening himself: “wanted a
box of matches. I couldn’t get anything put, and I was shaking the
machine, and swearing at it, as one does, when there came along a man,
about your size, and—you’re _sure_ it wasn’t you?”
“Positive,” I again ungrammatically replied; “I would tell you if it had
been. What did he do?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account