The Second Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
Besides, Cinderella dear, we should not quite mean it—this excellent
advice. We have grown accustomed to these gew-gaws, and we should miss
them in spite of our knowledge of their trashiness: you, your palace and
your little gold crown; I, my mountebank’s cap, and the answering laugh
that goes up from the crowd when I shake my bells. We want everything.
All the happiness that earth and heaven are capable of bestowing.
Creature comforts, and heart and soul comforts also; and, proud-spirited
beings that we are, we will not be put off with a part. Give us only
everything, and we will be content. And, after all, Cinderella, you have
had your day. Some little dogs never get theirs. You must not be
greedy. You have _known_ happiness. The palace was Paradise for those
few months, and the Prince’s arms were about you, Cinderella, the
Prince’s kisses on your lips; the gods themselves cannot take _that_ from
you.
The cake cannot last for ever if we will eat of it so greedily. There
must come the day when we have picked hungrily the last crumb—when we sit
staring at the empty board, nothing left of the feast, Cinderella, but
the pain that comes of feasting.
It is a naïve confession, poor Human Nature has made to itself, in
choosing, as it has, this story of Cinderella for its leading moral:—Be
good, little girl. Be meek under your many trials. Be gentle and kind,
in spite of your hard lot, and one day—you shall marry a prince and ride
in your own carriage. Be brave and true, little boy. Work hard and wait
with patience, and in the end, with God’s blessing, you shall earn riches
enough to come back to London town and marry your master’s daughter.
You and I, gentle Reader, could teach these young folks a truer lesson,
an we would. We know, alas! that the road of all the virtues does not
lead to wealth, rather the contrary; else how explain our limited
incomes? But would it be well, think you, to tell them bluntly the
truth—that honesty is the most expensive luxury a man can indulge in;
that virtue, if persisted in, leads, generally speaking, to a six-roomed
house in an outlying suburb? Maybe the world is wise: the fiction has
its uses.
I am acquainted with a fairly intelligent young lady. She can read and
write, knows her tables up to six times, and can argue. I regard her as
representative of average Humanity in its attitude towards Fate; and this
is a dialogue I lately overheard between her and an older lady who is
good enough to occasionally impart to her the wisdom of the world—
“I’ve been good this morning, haven’t I?”
“Yes—oh yes, fairly good, for you.”
“You think Papa _will_ take me to the circus to-night?”
“Yes, if you keep good. If you don’t get naughty this afternoon.”
A pause.
“I was good on Monday, you may remember, nurse.”
“Tolerably good.”
“_Very_ good, you said, nurse.”
“Well, yes, you weren’t bad.”
“And I was to have gone to the pantomime, and I didn’t.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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