The Second Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
But into your success, Tom—Dick, old friend, do not there creep moments
when you would that we could fish up those old egg-boxes from the past,
refurnish with them the dingy rooms in Camden Town, and find there our
youth, our loves, and our beliefs?
An incident brought back to my mind, the other day, the thought of all
these things. I called for the first time upon a man, an actor, who had
asked me to come and see him in the little home where he lives with his
old father. To my astonishment—for the craze, I believe, has long since
died out—I found the house half furnished out of packing cases, butter
tubs, and egg-boxes. My friend earns his twenty pounds a week, but it
was the old father’s hobby, so he explained to me, the making of these
monstrosities; and of them he was as proud as though they were specimen
furniture out of the South Kensington Museum.
He took me into the dining-room to show me the latest outrage—a new
book-case. A greater disfigurement to the room, which was otherwise
prettily furnished, could hardly be imagined. There was no need for him
to assure me, as he did, that it had been made out of nothing but
egg-boxes. One could see at a glance that it was made out of egg-boxes,
and badly constructed egg-boxes at that—egg-boxes that were a disgrace to
the firm that had turned them out; egg-boxes not worthy the storage of
“shop ’uns” at eighteen the shilling.
We went upstairs to my friend’s bedroom. He opened the door as a man
might open the door of a museum of gems.
“The old boy,” he said, as he stood with his hand upon the door-knob,
“made everything you see here, everything,” and we entered. He drew my
attention to the wardrobe. “Now I will hold it up,” he said, “while you
pull the door open; I think the floor must be a bit uneven, it wobbles if
you are not careful.” It wobbled notwithstanding, but by coaxing and
humouring we succeeded without mishap. I was surprised to notice a very
small supply of clothes within, although my friend is a dressy man.
“You see,” he explained, “I dare not use it more than I can help. I am a
clumsy chap, and as likely as not, if I happened to be in a hurry, I’d
have the whole thing over:” which seemed probable.
I asked him how he contrived. “I dress in the bath-room as a rule,” he
replied; “I keep most of my things there. Of course the old boy doesn’t
know.”
He showed me a chest of drawers. One drawer stood half open.
“I’m bound to leave that drawer open,” he said; “I keep the things I use
in that. They don’t shut quite easily, these drawers; or rather, they
shut all right, but then they won’t open. It is the weather, I think.
They will open and shut all right in the summer, I dare say.” He is of a
hopeful disposition.
But the pride of the room was the washstand.
“What do you think of this?” cried he enthusiastically, “real marble
top—”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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