The Second Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
Next to these in merit I would place, were I writing a critical essay on
myself, the stories I have begun to write and that remain unfinished, why
I cannot explain to myself. They are good stories, most of them; better
far than the stories I have accomplished. Another time, perhaps, if you
care to listen, I will tell you the beginning of one or two and you shall
judge. Strangely enough, for I have always regarded myself as a
practical, commonsensed man, so many of these still-born children of my
mind I find, on looking through the cupboard where their thin bodies lie,
are ghost stories. I suppose the hope of ghosts is with us all. The
world grows somewhat interesting to us heirs of all the ages. Year by
year, Science with broom and duster tears down the moth-worn tapestry,
forces the doors of the locked chambers, lets light into the secret
stairways, cleans out the dungeons, explores the hidden passages—finding
everywhere only dust. This echoing old castle, the world, so full of
mystery in the days when we were children, is losing somewhat its charm
for us as we grow older. The king sleeps no longer in the hollow of the
hills. We have tunnelled through his mountain chamber. We have shivered
his beard with our pick. We have driven the gods from Olympus. No
wanderer through the moonlit groves now fears or hopes the sweet,
death-giving gleam of Aphrodite’s face. Thor’s hammer echoes not among
the peaks—’tis but the thunder of the excursion train. We have swept the
woods of the fairies. We have filtered the sea of its nymphs. Even the
ghosts are leaving us, chased by the Psychical Research Society.
Perhaps of all, they are the least, however, to be regretted. They were
dull old fellows, clanking their rusty chains and groaning and sighing.
Let them go.
And yet how interesting they might be, if only they would. The old
gentleman in the coat of mail, who lived in King John’s reign, who was
murdered, so they say, on the outskirts of the very wood I can see from
my window as I write—stabbed in the back, poor gentleman, as he was
riding home, his body flung into the moat that to this day is called
Tor’s tomb. Dry enough it is now, and the primroses love its steep
banks; but a gloomy enough place in those days, no doubt, with its twenty
feet of stagnant water. Why does he haunt the forest paths at night, as
they tell me he does, frightening the children out of their wits,
blanching the faces and stilling the laughter of the peasant lads and
lasses, slouching home from the village dance? Instead, why does he not
come up here and talk to me? He should have my easy-chair and welcome,
would he only be cheerful and companionable.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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